Dealing With Breakups

Dealing With Breakups

Life is all about finding out what works for you and what doesn’t.

Spencer Cole Salsbury; Rupi Kaur Milk and Honey

When you think about love, what do you think of? Do you think of flowers on anniversaries, dates, someone to count on? Love can be a beautiful thing, but you open yourself up to the possibility of being hurt; it’s all about if that person is worth the pain. I was in love once, and it was beautifully flawed. Nine months, engagements, a connection that will never be replaced, and it’s tough being broken up with for false reasons. I was told to change within the first month of our relationship, but if you love someone, then you should never tell them to change. Love is acceptance of that person for who they are and how they are, and if that person makes you unhappy, then you should not be with them. I was told I made the guy I loved that I made him so unhappy he wanted to die. I told him this is who I am if you don’t like it, then you can leave. People are going to leave you, that’s just life, and yes it hurts. However, life is all about finding out what works for you and what doesn’t. Especially when you’re young and in love, you really don’t know how blind you have made yourself to that situation. Nothing in life is promised. I was promised I would never be left by him, but here we are. People change constantly, and that’s something that’s out of your control. "Milk and Honey" author Rupi Kaur says, “Don’t mistake salt for sugar. If he wants to be with you, he will. It’s that simple.” It really is that simple. You can’t keep someone who doesn’t want to stay. If they leave, it feels like the end of the world, probably because he/she was your world for an extended period of time. First loves are the worst because you will always have a soft spot for them, and no matter how hard you try, a piece of love they gave you will forever remain in your heart.

Breakups are difficult. Sometimes your phone vibrates and you think it’s them, but eventually you realize that it will probably not ever be them. It’s even more difficult because typically in relationships, that person becomes your best friend, so when you break up it’s as if you’re facing grief but grief on heroin. You think maybe they’ll say they’re sorry, but don’t live waiting for an apology that may never come, because you aren’t living. We do not need a man or woman to keep us happy, we choose to have one because we want a meaningful relationship with that person. If that person gives up on you, then guess what? It’s their loss, and they will always remember you. The good news is that the person you were with will always have a soft spot for you too. You will always be in their heart and their head, and all the other people that come after will be a shadow. Halsey says “Don’t belong to no city; Don’t belong to no man.” Which is true, because we don’t belong to them. We are not a piece of property; we are not their pets. Don’t beat yourself up thinking that you didn’t try, because you did, and it wasn’t enough for them. It was nothing wrong with you. You can’t make yourself think it’s all your fault, but don’t let go of the idea of love, because maybe one day you will love again, and that’s the only thing you can do. Just remember to live. Live free and be happy. Treat yourself to whatever you want, you deserve it after everything. Listen to some empowering music, you are strong and independent and selfless and beautiful. They cannot open their eyes to what was in front of them the whole time, or open up their deaf ears to hear you. But hear yourself, and let your heart mend. But most importantly, don’t forget to live. You’ll be okay, it will all be okay in the end.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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