There comes the point where everyone has to take a hard look at their friends, take a deep breath, and ask these words as rhetorically as possible; Why are all my friends gay?
Now you don't want a real answer when you ask this question you ask it only because the words just need to be said. Like my friend from western who wants be a cop.
It was late one night and my friend; we'll just call him the cop, was up late playing a video game. He was enjoying a quiet calm night when his roommate burst into the room reeking of alcohol. He stood still took a look at the cop, and practically yelled "let me suck you off," The cop's first response was no. His roommate then retorted why are you such a tease and passed out on his bed. My friend the cop then said the famous words "Why are all my friends gay?"
Now for some clarification, neither the cop nor his roommate is gay or homophobic, but he still asked the question. He asked it for a good reason too. This isn't the first time an event like this had happened.
Fast forward a couple months. I was having a get together with a bunch of friends right before winter break was gonna end. Now it was my first time having a girlfriend. And one of my friends wanted to make a couple of ground rules.
"Just so you know Jason, I don't want any of your romantic stuff, so whatever you do to her I'm going to do to the cop."
Well as soon as I heard that my mind started racing. It took about one minute after the cop showed up for me to kiss my girlfriend on the lips. Immediately after that, my friend had to explain to the cop the statement he made earlier. The cop said "well bring it in big boy," they started making googly eyes and leaning in closer to each other, had I not been trying to take a picture they would have actually kissed. Both of them immediately confirmed it.
"Why are all of my friends gay?"
Now, none of us are gay except for our one friend but that has become a saying in our group. We use it all the time. One friend will try to make a flirty comment, and then another will immediately take it way to far. Now it's not that we all have a secret burning passion for each other. We are all just good enough friends, and we know our sexuality and are comfortable with it. It's the people who are afraid of being associated with a gay or are still trying to figure out their sexuality, that react negatively.
That doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with not knowing what category you fall into, it just means you could be a little uncomfortable while hanging out with my friends.
But honestly, don't we all have the friend that would kiss us for a joke? Or is that just me?
