One of the hardest parts of my life is dealing with the hordes of men who hit on my every single day. Truly, it's exasperating. This problem has lead me to the question of: why am I so sexy? Exactly what about me is so incredibly sexy that men can't seem to control ardor around me? I came to the conclusion that it's these four things that result in my overall perfection.
1. My Smell
Claus Wedekin, a Swiss scientist, did a study to discover smell's relationship to attraction. To do this he collected a group of men, took a sample of their DNA and then gave each man a t-shirt, which they were supposed to wear without any Cologne or anything that might add a smell to the shirt, and told them to sleep in it for two nights. After the two nights, the researchers took the shirts back, threw them in a box, and presented the box of shirts to a group of females, who they had already DNA tested, and asked them which shirts smelled the sexiest. The result showed that women ranked the shirts from men who were more genetically diverse from themselves as sexier. So I guess my genetics must be incredibly diverse and men can smell it from a mile away.
2. My Face
Studies have shown that people with symmetrical faces (or faces that look the same on both sides) are more attractive. Why? Because our genes are coded to produce a symmetric face; however, our environment can affect the development of a symmetrical face, so having a symmetrical face shows that you are healthy and strong. This leads me to assume that when men look at me they must think "Dangggg her face like hella symmetrical."
3. My Body
Two factors affect the perceived beauty of a person's body: symmetry and proportionality. The symmetry of our body is viewed as attractive because it displays our health. This is attractive on a survival of the fittest level which we saw when we look at how sexy my face is. But what about the proportionality part? How do proportions affect attractiveness? Scientists have discovered that the ratio of 1.6 between your hips and your shoulders is the universal idea of a beautiful body. So the measurement of my shoulders compared to the measurement of my hips must be at a ratio of 1 to 1.6 because I am constantly having to avoid the pools of drool leaking out the mouths of men who have seen my bubblicious bod.
4. My Personality
Viren Swami did a study on personality's effect on attractiveness by separating male subjects into three groups. To the first group they just showed a series of pictures of women of all different sizes. To the second group they showed the same pictures but also assigned positive personality traits to the pictures. For example, for one women, they might say she is very kind and for the next they might say she is very patient, and to the third group they showed them the same pictures but this time with negative personality traits, such as she is rude. The results showed that all the groups agreed on which body was the most attractive. However, the second group, which was shown the pictures with the positive personality traits, viewed a wider range of women as attractive. So men must see my humble confidence as overwhelmingly attractive.
Some of you might be thinking "this is all fine and dandy but what if I'm not blessed with the same divine beauty as you were?" Well, it is important to note that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This means that even if your body isn't at the ratio of 1.6 there is always someone out there who will like your little butt or whatever other physical imperfection you have. However, if you do want to strive for perfection below are two pictures of me which you can use as motivation.
