I Am Not Okay Now, But I Will Be | The Odyssey Online
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I Am Not Okay Now, But I Will Be

Things change in life. I am having a hard time currently, but soon I will be alright.

Morgan Doyle
Aug 15, 2016
Walla Walla University
1417
I Am Not Okay Now, But I Will Be
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Things have changed in my life.

I have become more independent and more focused on -- to put it simply -- me. I used to always put others before myself, but this week, I haven't and it actually feels pretty wonderful.
I have realized it is okay to be sad and eat too much Ben and Jerry's.
I have realized that sometimes what your heart wants isn't what your brain needs.
I have realized I am overly caring, and need to think of myself more.
I have realized that how you react to situations, defines who you are.
I have realized that the person you thought would always be there for you, sometimes won't be and might not be anymore.

That is a scary thing to accept. Especially when you hate being alone and not being able to be social with people. Going from having a person you text constantly to having your phone never buzz is more shocking than upsetting. I am constantly checking my phone, waiting for the text, Snapchat or Facebook message that never comes. That is the part that hurts.

But i'm okay. I may not be now, but I will be.

I will be okay because I have amazing friends that are here to support me and a family that loves me, and because I love myself. That's what has changed the most for me this past week: learning to love myself and not take poop from anyone. I deserve to be treated like a princess. The next person who becomes close into my life should treat me like I am incredible. Because I need that. I need to feel like I am something special.

I love myself and that is why I am going to be okay. I have a bomb playlist I play too loud in my car, I treat myself to coffee and I am proud of myself.

I do not need anyone to make me happy; I can do it just fine being me. I miss the feeling of someone being there for me and adding to my happiness, but for right now I will be alright. I have to be a better me before I can make anyone else better.

Make yourself happy, and you will be okay, I promise. Maybe not now, but in the future. I just know I am not one to be taken for granted. It's okay to care too much, because you can never care too much or overthink something. If it bothers you enough to consume your mind, it means something to you. Don't let anyone tell you differently. I care so much and my heart hurts, but soon all will be well.

I hope.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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