For nine years I was the only child, and the youngest in my extended family. I received a lot of one-on-one attention from my parents, grandparents, and Aunts and Uncles. I was able to have a unique relationship with my family members because I did not have a sibling that would "take the attention" from me.
After nine years, it all changed. I now had a younger brother to share the attention with. It was a whole new life for me. For example, I now had to get used to saying that I was a big sister. It was definitely very different, but I wouldn't change it for the world. My brother and I may have an age gap but I love him dearly.
My brother is the sweet, yet mischievous one. He doesn't enjoy school and would rather spend his time playing video games or any activity that doesn't involve doing homework. I learned throughout the years that my baby brother and I are polar opposites. The only thing we have in common is that we look alike and sound alike. My brother gets a lot of attention at home and with my extended family, because for a short period of time he was the baby of the family. Now, my younger cousin, who is nine herself, is the youngest.
As a twenty-two year old College student, my life has changed in so many ways. I have moved towns, moved houses, lost people very close to me, and moved out of state for College. I have made good choices and poor choices, dyed my hair, gotten good grades, and have had many different jobs. I have had to grow up and mature rather quickly compared to a majority of my peers, especially since my Father passed away. This has taken a toll on my life and my family's life as well.
No matter what has happened, I have promised myself to work hard to be successful. I have stayed away from drug use, peer pressure (for the most part.. my friends are pretty good at convincing me I need those pair of shoes), and have made sure to do whatever it takes to make my family proud. I like to think that I have done a good job of making a life for myself and never forgetting the lessons my parents taught me. No matter how hard I try, I have realized one thing- my extended family does not think I am good enough.
I could win the Nobel Peace Prize and they would want to know why I didn't cure world hunger. I could find the cure for cancer and they would want to know why I didn't end poverty. I could be a billionaire and give them all the money I have, and they would want to know why I didn't become President of the United States. Nothing I ever do is good enough for any of them. Throughout my life, I have become reluctant to share any part of my life with my family. I always brace myself for the negative comment I'll receive when I post a status on Facebook, or come home with something exciting to share.
I can't help but wonder what it is that makes them this way. Maybe they have negativity in their own lives and positivism doesn't seem attainable, Maybe they think I come off as better than them; which is not my intention. No matter what, I know that I must continue to work hard and be positive.
I am good enough.
