In my first semester of college, Professor Nick Kelly lectured us in his Acting 1 class about the importance of taking the business of acting seriously. As I prepare to take on my senior year, I think back on that first semester and I evaluate my "seriousness" and my passion for the art of theatre. I'm pleased to say that, for the most part, my determination remains as strong as ever.

Even after everything I've learned about the difficulties and the heartbreak that go with pursuing work as an actor, I know that it is still the right path for me. I try to explain why I still feel that way, and I remember that first acting class. Something Nick Kelly said has stuck with me through these last three years. I wrote it down in bold letters and highlighted it with multiple colors. He said:

“Every actor chooses to act for their own reasons—personally I do it because I have to. I have to perform. It’s who I am.”

For as long as I’ve been performing, I’ve wondered how to best describe why I do what I do. Nick answered that question for me that day.

When I was little and first imagining what it would be like to be a real actress, I would fantasize about being famous someday. However, I never actually wanted that—at least, fame was never my reason for auditioning and putting my heart and soul into my work. I do it because no matter what is going on in my life, no matter how stressed I am with what’s happening outside of or during rehearsals, when I’m on stage, I’m home—I’m me.

There was never a question of what I wanted to do with my life. If I didn’t pursue acting, I have no idea what I would do. I’ve been truly blessed with a family whose support has always been present and unconditional.They knew from the start that nothing was going to keep me from doing what I love.

I have so many idols in the world of theater. I believe there is so much to learn from watching someone completely dedicated to their craft. Actors like Gary Oldman, Martin Freeman, Meryll Streep, Robin Williams, Anthony Hopkins, Anne Hathaway, and so many others who take their work seriously and spend hours upon hours perfecting accents or quirks that bring their characters to life, inspire me to do the same. I also have friends from various casts of shows I've worked on who throw their heart and soul onto the stage, allowing themselves to be completely exposed. I know actors whose instinct for comedy is nothing short of amazing.

I want to be the kind of actor who can inspire others like that. I want to get experience in every aspect of performing. I want to be able to see the vision a director wants to display on the stage or the screen, and I want to be able to portray it. I want to be the kind of actor that people watch and then suddenly thy understand why the performing arts are so important. I want to be the kind of actor who loves what they’re doing and shows it no matter how “small” their role may be.

I’m in love with performing and I want to do it all. I want to sing, dance, laugh, cry, soliloquize, and I want to entertain an audience. I’m not picky. A role is a role, and if I can do it justice, I will. There’s nothing like being a part of a show and sharing the successes and failures of a performance with other actors as well as audience members.

I take performing very seriously. Sometimes, reality gets to be too much for us to take… performing gives us a break from that harsh reality—for both the performers and the audience. It helps us better relate to each other as humans and I’ve personally experienced the pure bliss that comes from making someone laugh. Even making someone cry has its joys. When you see that you have led someone to feel such personal emotions, there is an overwhelming connection of human empathy.

To lose sight of this connection would be to lose sight of each other as members of the human race. I believe what we do as actors is important. I want to be the kind of actor who serves as a reminder that we are all cut from the same cloth; we are all human. I don't know yet if I am that kind of actor, but the desire to better myself as a performer and as a person is stronger than ever. It's who I am. I perform because I have to; it is who I am.