Dear women,
I am 18 years old, and I know what I want to do with my life. I know that I want to put my voice out there; I want to write about things that matter. That is what I’ve always wanted to do. Since coming into college, I was a firm believer that I was going to be single and unhappy for the rest of my life because I wasn't skinny enough, because I wasn’t a blonde, or my eyes didn’t sparkle or because my stretch marks were too noticeable. But today, I had a realization.
It happened when I was sitting in my Human Cultures class—we were talking about gender, and the first thing we did was watch a video on women and how the media portrays them in society. This opened my eyes to something that I was quite oblivious to before. We are described as meat, sex objects, dolls—anything and everything that has nothing to do with brains or leadership or anything that men are portrayed as. Think about that for a moment. When was the last time there was a movie about a woman who was average? She wasn’t skinny, she wasn’t promiscuous, and she didn’t have to have a love interest to be successful in the movie? Never. Do you see the problem?
I have always struggled with body issues and the idea that I will never be good enough for anyone. It was watching this video that I realized that I was much more than I think. No, I am not the idea of skinny. I have curves and I have thighs and stretch marks everywhere. There is nothing I can do about that and I’m not going to change my body or my eating habits to please a man who looks at me as nothing but a toy to play with.
Not only does the media portray us this way, but men look at us like this, too. We have to be a certain way to please a man. Some women feel that a man’s opinion on body image, beauty and how we just act as a whole is everything and the only thing. Women, we need to do things for ourselves. We are just as powerful as men and can handle anything the world is throwing at us.
We are smart. We are strong. We are capable of anything and everything. I used to tell my male friends in middle school, “Women can do anything while wearing heels.” This was before I actually wore heels and realized that I truly hate heels. But that isn’t the point. We can do anything. If we want to run for presidency, we can. If we want to be the protagonist and not have a love story in it, let’s do it! If we want to run a company by ourselves, we can.
Watching this video made me furious. The world we live in is not as great as I once thought it was. We are taken as jokes if we want to do something serious. When I told my aunt that I wanted to be a journalist, she told me that I should be a news anchor and you know what I said? I said, “I don’t have the face or body for television.” And the sad part is that I’ve said it at least four more times since having that conversation with her. I said that I would rather write the words than be on television and be insecure about my weight because I have curves.
Thinking back on it, I realized that this is what the media has done to me. That I am a victim of falling for the lies that are said about women. Have you ever noticed that when women want a position in office or on television that the first thing the media does is talk about their clothing and if it was worth buying or not? And then there’s the fact that if a woman is a news anchor that what she wears is too revealing or that she got where she was because she used sexual activity to get there.
No—this is not the type of label I want to be viewed as. This should not be a label any women should want to be viewed as. Think about your girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters and future daughters. What kind of a world do you want them to live in? Of course, there will never be world peace but one voice can make a difference. And who knows if it will be my voice? I just know that taking this class, I have learned that I am more than I used to think. That my body doesn’t define me, that I am smart enough to accomplish anything. I have the skills to do whatever I want in my life, and I also have the ability to believe or not to believe what the media poisons our brains with.
So to women everywhere—what do you want to do with everything you just read? What kind of a world do you want to live in? One where we are objects, where we are viewed nothing more than a sex toy and stupid? One where we compete with other girls to be the true definition of beautiful? Or a world where we push aside the toxic posts media portrays women as and do whatever the hell we want? My voice is just one single voice. It is up to you, the women (and even men) reading this letter to decide to push it aside or share it. Share your voice, speak up and share your opinion. That’s the best advice I can give to you. If you see something wrong, do something about it.
And now I’m going to leave you on this note. Ladies, we are much more than the media says. I’ve said this numerous amount of times now, but I want it to sink in. I want you to believe it. You are smart, you are beautiful in your own way, you are creative, you are strong, and you are capable of whatever you want. It’s up to you to decide what to do with it. Just remember that.
Sincerely,
A girl who just realized girls run the world
