By now, I would hope that everyone who reads my work is aware that I am not the biggest fan of dating. I think the system is broken; nobody does it correctly or cares about anyone but themselves. Therefore, I don't go on many dates because I find it useless. Also, dates seem to be predictable. No one has new, innovative or creative date ideas. It's almost always, "should we grab coffee/dinner?"

Nevertheless, I've experienced enough dates to know how awkward the situation gets when the check comes. And yes, you bet your bottom dollar I'm talking about who pays on a first date.

I was listening to a podcast at work one day, as one does, called "Why Oh Why." Now, this podcast is about dating, which as we know, I hate. So why do I listen to this podcast? It's interesting.

In one episode, they talked all about who should pay on a date. One of the guests said that men should always pay for the date because of the wage gap. They were saying that since men, on average, make more in a year and will make more over their lifetime than women do, that women should always let a man pay for a meal.

I almost fell for it. My feminism was like "hmmm, scamming straight men? Where do I sign up?!" However, I came to my senses. I love the idea of having someone buy my food but I couldn't let that happen. I know myself.

I have a tremendous amount of pride. This is something I've always known about myself. This means that I very much take issue with anyone buying things for me. It makes me uncomfortable because I feel like nobody does anything out of the kindness of their heart. If someone pays for your food, it's because they expect something in return. And while that's wildly disgusting, that's just how it works.

That being said, I try not to let any possible date pay for anything for me. I refuse to be indebted to anyone.

The worst thing is that I hear so many straight men complaining that women are gold diggers just because they expect men to pay for dates for them. That's not even close to being true. Again, men on average make more money than women. Men also commit horrible atrocities against women such as physical and sexual violence. So I feel that the least they could do is buy a woman food who wants that.

Not to mention that men have this weird complex where they like being needed. When a woman isn't meek and doesn't need to be taken care of, they seemingly feel useless. Which, to me, if you derive your self worth from other people needing you, you have deeper issues. But that's another article. So while they complain about having to shell out money for women they may never see again, they also whine when they aren't relied on.

Society, which is controlled by men, created the rule that men should pay for meals. So, when I hear men moaning and whining about that, I'm like "the only people you have to blame are yourselves."

Again, because I don't like this weird dynamic created by straight men needed to buy me things in exchange for something else, my strategy is usually, pay for half or I buy your food and you buy mine. So I won't be in debt to you, and you won't expect anything.

I'm going to continue on this path since I don't go on enough dates for this to affect me financially and I refuse to have anyone hold anything over me. My purpose in life is to dismantle societal norms and structures as well. And if society says I shouldn't buy things for myself, I am going to do the exact opposite of that.

I present to you this question: who pays when you go on a date?