A year and a half ago I experienced some of my lowest lows. I put on a pretty face to hide the brokenness of my heart. I couldn't figure out why God chose me to endure some of the most terrifying things that life has to offer. A lot of people would comfort me with the saying "God gives His toughest battles to His strongest soldiers." I couldn't think of anything more untrue. I didn't feel strong. In the beginning, I doubted God, and everything he was doing in my life at that time.
Looking back on that phase of my life now, I see what God was doing. I see how my terrifying experience turned into one of my biggest blessings. Because of that weakness that I felt, I was able to see the power and beauty of God at work in a person's life.
Before my experience with cancer, shamefully I can say I became a passive christian. Don't get me wrong, I loved The Lord, but I can't say that I was living the life He intended me to. So, when I was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer right before leaving for college, I questioned Him and His timing. I didn't see His big picture. At first, I couldn't see that this experience would only strengthen my heart and faith for God.
When God gave His toughest battle to me, I wasn't ready. I wasn't strong.
As I began to look back and see some of the people who God used, I saw that most of them were not ready or prepared for what God told them to do either. God used a young unmarried girl to be the mother of Jesus. Peter had an anger problem and denied God three times. David was only a boy when he defeated the giant. Despite killing those who followed God for most of his life, Paul shared the gospel to the gentiles and went to jail for Him. Sarah was 90 years old when she had Isaac.
I think that God gives His toughest battles to provide His strength to the weak. God picks weak people to endure tough times so that they don’t become strong, but Christ becomes strong through them. It took one of God's tough battles to remind me of how amazing God is and how firm my foundation in Christ needs to be.
God takes you as you are. He takes what you are most ashamed of, your darkest chapter, and He uses it for His will. You don't have to reach a curtain standard to receive this love or God's ability to turn things inside out for the greater good. You don't have to be a certain age or wear certain clothes. He gives you times of weakness to show that you need Him as a source of strength. He gives you battles to prove that you are only strong when you admit you are weak and lean on Him for guidance. Maybe God allows the storms to occur in your life so you can be brought to your knees. Our weaknesses remind us how strong God is. Our battles prove His strength through faith in us. All you have to do is let go and have faith that God is working in your life.
