Each time we construct our own perceptions of others, they, likewise, develop their own perspectives of us. We understand this, and we accept it as a sad, but necessary, fact of life. Trying to save ourselves from criticism, we don a suit, a matching mask, and traverse through the world with clothed intentions. We leave our baggage at the doorstep, and bring little else but optimistically veiled cynicism. Over time, we hone our experiences, temper our feelings, and bundle them up into a neat, little package to present to the public.
We cast out a citywide net, hoping that we can catch a friendly individual or two. Not super picky, we jump at the first few who tug the line. We show them what we want them to see. If that doesn’t work, we show them what we think they might want to see instead. Skilled in clandestine social graces, we masterfully bury our flaws. We also manage to conceal most of the arguably subjective chinks in our armor. Soon, all anyone sees of us is the mask we hide behind.
Each perception we have of others is fluid and easily malleable. Each new instance and every recent memory add fuel to the fire of perspective. Perspectives we create of ourselves are just as unstable as those we have for others. They can change at the drop of a hat. They are also heavily influenced by impressions we have of others or the impressions they have of us. Likewise, we may be more likely to favor an individual who thinks of us fondly or someone who speaks highly of our personality.
Unfortunately, what others think means a great deal to most people. We want to change ourselves to fit within the narrow social constraints of a self-perceived "normal." We want to find someplace to belong. Soon, it becomes difficult to separate our own voice from everyone else’s.
As such, we assume everyone judges us, because of how judgemental we are of other individuals. We are all very different, yet, we are almost all the same in this particular respect. We might not entirely understand it, but our combined insecurity binds us to each other. Collectively, humanity struggles with criticism, judgments, and perspectives. We automatically use objective reasoning to justify our subjective feelings about ourselves.
In life, we are throwing a bunch of things about ourselves out there, hoping for someone who gets us. Some people obliviously breeze past these parts of us without a care in the world. Other people see the stuff we threw in the road, walk around everything and continue about their morning. Then, we have the special ones. These people actually pick up the pieces and try to assemble everything as best they can. It's messy. It takes work. But they do it anyway. The end product of their creation is who we become in their heads. It may not perfectly match the original, but they did their best with the information that we provided.
People’s opinions of us will always be different. One person might have a vision of you in their mind. For better or for worse, someone else could have a completely different version of you in their own mind. However, the only version that matters is the one you create for yourself. The only person who can take that away from you is you.
