You look in the mirror, and so starts an avalanche of thoughts. Whether it be a bit of acne on your chin, deep set dark circles, an awkward gait, or even something as seemingly arbitrary as asymmetrical eyelids, you almost instinctually zero in on those particular facets of yourself. You fixate unsympathetically (and borderline clinically) on any and all presented imperfections. Even after taking years to embrace self-love and accepting yourself, in your mind's eye, a blemish (be it external or internal) is never just a blemish. It's instead what the world sees first and immediately sizes you up with. After all, strangers need only take a tenth of a second to form an impression of you. After all, those around you seem competent and self-possessed, and perhaps you don't always feel the same.
We are so often our worst critics. We inadvertently magnify the littlest imperfections to glaring flaws, and absolutely unnecessarily for one simple reason: people do not notice your flaws as much as you think they do, due to a phenomenon known as the spotlight effect. Because all of our perceptions are seen through our own very specific lens formed as a result of our own very unique perspectives and experiences, we are more likely to overestimate how much another person is focusing on us, and as a result, is able to pick up our own perceived flaws. The frequent overestimation of the visibility of a given flaw is a phenomenon exacerbated by the bias blind spot. Because people often do not perceive themselves as biased, they're more likely to take their own perceptions of themselves and what they think people perceive about them (known as metaperceptions) as much more accurate and objective as they actually are.
The disconnect regarding how people perceive us and how we perceive ourselves is likely what feeds the phenomenon known as imposter syndrome. It's described as the feeling of phoniness despite objective indicators of success, such as accolades or fame, and it's often fueled by the pervasive feeling that you're the only one struggling because everyone else seems to be doing just fine. Though we may feel under qualified in one respect or another because we intimately know of our own struggles and inadequacies, due to the spotlight effect, others might not be picking up on the subtle flaws that plague our subconsciouses. In fact, others may very well be looking at you and marveling your ability to juggle so much while remaining calm and collected, and ironically end with questioning their own competence.
In order to overcome the natural tendency to fixate on flaws and assume your own flaws are glaring to anyone and everyone around you, simply keep in mind that our own judgements aren't necessarily entirely objective and understand that imposter syndrome is more common than you'd think; instead of focusing on how you're less than someone else, don't sell yourself short and know that you're wonderful as you are, "perfect" or not.
