I recently read an article on Dine and Dish about showing up-I mean, really being where you are, and it got me thinking. How many times do I make plans with a friend only to back out last minute for no valid reason? How many times do I pretend that I don't see an acquaintance in order to avoid small talk? How many times have I been somewhere, but wasn't truly there? I like to use my busy, active lifestyle as an excuse for being less than engaged, but in reality, I have no excuse and neither do you.
"Showing up" has multiple connotations. It could be taken anywhere from, "Yeah, well you're lucky I even showed up" to, "You made it, I can't believe you showed up!" But what I'm talking about is something so much deeper than that. Like all other skills, showing up is an art and must be cultivated. It's not just a matter of showing up; it's a matter of truly being where you are, taking time to show others and yourself that you find value in what you are doing and who you are doing it with.
We show up a lot of places, right? To work, to school, to a meeting, to an interview, the list goes on and on... But what do we do while our bodies are present in that space? Often times, the answer is close to nothing. We convince ourselves that it's enough to just be somewhere, as if it validates us and ensures that, yes, we are doing something. The result is that we simply go through the motions and miss out on opportunities to grow and experience.
Showing up is a difficult concept to grasp, but when incorporated it makes a world of difference in your work, relationships, and life. It's complex because it's more than just a physical matter; it relates to humans on a spiritual level, as it is something that we can only achieve through increasing our conscious awareness of ourselves. How can you do it? Start small: put down your phone when spending time with family and friends. Reach out to that friend who's equally as busy as you and catch up for a bit. Do something that shows the people in your life that you care about them. Beyond that, though, there's plenty of mindfulness techniques available to help you stay aware. Watch your breath and listen to it. Be aware of your thoughts and don't judge them; simply let them come and pass through your mind's eye. Allow yourself to be where you are without worrying about the million other things you have to do that day.
The most important thing you can do for yourself and others is to show up; it's an active engagement, a pledge to yourself and the person or thing you choose to show up for. It is reaching out to that friend you haven't talked to in months, it's driving home to see your parents just because, it's spending a little extra time with your friends instead of leaving after an hour of visiting. We tend to avoid showing up because we get stuck inside our heads and our busy lives, and nothing else seems able to compete with our direct responsibilities. We get stuck in this pattern of thinking and turn our backs on opportunities to better ourselves.
How can you get out of this cycle and start showing up for your own life? How can you start experiencing success and live a more fulfilling life? It's all about intention. Regardless of how monotonous or routine your life may seem, as long as there's reason behind it and you're working for something, you will be more fulfilled than in the perspective that you're doing all of this, whatever this may be, for nothing. Showing up is an active engagement and a pledge to bring your best self wherever you go-wherever you go, there you are, so make sure you're getting the most out of it. It's time to start showing up for your life, for your friends, for your family, and for yourself.
