Relationships aren't about flowers, singing birds and happy endings. Relationships are work. Hard work. Just like a book, the longer they are, the more complex they get. It gets more complicated than just where you decide to eat on your dates every Friday night. And you won't get your happy ending unless you create it yourself.
The first year or two, is fun, exciting and new. It's like a new adventure. You get to learn all about your partner: where they like to eat, their favorite color and how they spend their free time. It's exciting to find out how your partner lives and spends their days. You'll be there for the extraordinary moments, the uncomfortable moments and the terrible moments. They'll need you when their dog dies, a family member passes and when their parents move away, and you'll need them too. These moments are so special to share with your partner. You learn so much about each other during these times whether they are enjoyable moments or not. But after a couple years you create moments like these and you know your partner like the back of your hand. Sometimes, you know them better than you know yourself.
Relationships are hard because learning all of these things about each other is so much fun and once you learn everything, it's no longer an exhilarating adventure, but more like finding your destination. And sometimes, we don't like our destination. You question yourself and the past years of your life spent with this person wondering if it's really what you want. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Knowing what's right and wrong for yourself is probably the hardest thing about life. We'll never know if something out there is better for us without giving up something we already have. It's the same with relationships. We may love who we choose to be with, but you'll never know if there's someone out there even better. And the hard part is deciding if you can truly be happy with the person you choose to be, knowing there are billions of people in the world.
We don't live in a fairy tale, and we can't wait for our happy endings. We have to create our happy ending. We are the authors to our own love stories, and some of us are better writers than others. We don't have someone writing our lives, and that's what makes it so challenging. The thought of being in charge of your own life is terrifying at times and can be extremely intimidating. It sometimes even holds us back from doing things we want, unsure if it is a good idea. Realizing you can't wait around for someone to tell you it's OK is the most challenging part of life and until then, you'll never reach your full potential.
Until you stop waiting for the perfect relationship instead of getting it yourself, you'll never be sure of anything. Second guessing and uncertainty are what make relationships and love hard. Stop second-guessing and stop being uncertain. Chase your Prince Charming or Cinderella just like you chase your dreams. Maybe then you'll see love really is magic and isn't as hard as it seems.
