Check the back of your milk carton, because romance is missing. I'm not the first person to notice, and I won't be the last, but it's missing nonetheless. Maybe missing is the wrong word. Walked out or jumped ship seem better ways to described what happened to that once prevalent presence. But where has it gone, and why?

Pushed Out By New Acquaintances

Romance used to live very close, practically in the room next door. It was always waiting and available for whoever wanted to have it. All you had to do was call, put in a decent effort and lay out your plans, and romance would be there to liven up any gathering. Whether it was a night out on the town full of drinks and dancing, a quiet dinner, or an intimate meeting indoors, romance would be there. It didn't discriminate, it didn't mind being with multiple people, and it still showed up even when things got complicated or challenging.

Maybe that was the start of romance's scarcity: complications and challenges. Whenever those arose it made inviting romance to hang out a little less desirable. It just seemed to make things awkward and strained to have romance around during those times, even if it was still down to chill whenever. In spite of this people sought others in place of romance who were easier, or more fun to be around. Narcissism, superficiality, cheap hookups became the new crowd at romance's old haunts. And in some cases, routine has hunkered down in its place too. It was really difficult for it to hang around those A-holes, so romance did the only thing it could and bailed.

Smoke and Mirrors

Some people hear about how great it was to have romance around from others, and they go looking for it. But the search is difficult for those who never truly got to know the real romance. It's not uncommon for these types of people to fall victim to pretenders masquerading as what they seek. They come in all forms: men and women of conquest seeking validation and notches for their belts, all while walking and talking as romance would; the rebels who create an image of romance in themselves that only they seem to understand and benefit from; the users and abusers who become romance for those desperate to find it, or easy to manipulate; and finally, the creeps and obsessives who coerce or force someone to see them as romance.

After being with pretenders such as that, it's no wonder why romance has become illusory. It's to the point that whenever someone mentions it you just think that there's no way it can possibly exist. You might even accuse people of reading too many novels or fan-fictions, with how difficult it has gotten to find romance in the real world. It has achieved a mythical status, like a unicorn or the Loch Ness monster. Some think they've seen it, and may even have footage, but it's probably a hoax at best.

Hidden in Plain Sight

The truth about romance is that even though it's gone, it didn't go very far. It's not like the conditions for it hanging out with people have changed--they're pretty much the same as they've always been. It just refuses to be present with pretenders or any of those other acquaintances that make it difficult to come around. It wants to be around, and will often lurk in your favorite spots waiting for you to invite it out again, but with so many distractions it often goes unnoticed. So unless you've trained yourself to spot it, finding it came be like trying to find Waldo.

Romance is missing, but not entirely. If you can allow yourself the time and effort to look for it and invite it over, it would no doubt become a big part of your life.