When my sister was first born I was told that I loved and cared for her more than anything. I was very excited to have my own life sized doll. I was always hugging and kissing her, and as a 2-year-old amazed by the creature in front of me.
As I got older my feelings changed. The monster that my parents called my sister, was out to get me, or so I thought. I wished that she were older than me, I wished she were a boy, and some days I wished she were a dog.
Don't get me wrong, I loved her, but did not necessarily like her at all times.
She was everywhere I was, intruding on everything that I did with my friends and following me everywhere I went. She made it hard for me to feel like my own person and have my own space. We shared a room, we had matching outfits, and spent time with the same people.
We fought nearly everyday over everything; what tv show to watch, who got the last of the ramen because that wasn't a normal item on the grocery list, and of course who mom liked better.
Before I knew it she was in high school, and I was stuck driving her there. Nearly every day one of us would blame the other for being late, we would argue about what radio station to listen to and we would refuse to walk in together.
We danced together all four years of my high school career, and had more arguments there than we had anywhere else, there were many days that I expected my dance teacher to kick us out, but instead just moved us to opposite ends of the barre, we were each each others motivators to do better — simply to do better than the other.
My mom would always tell me:
"Cass, be lucky you have a sister that loves you and looks up to you as much as she does, be lucky you have a sister."
I graduated and wanted to go far away to college, she told me that she didn't care, but I know that she didn't want me to be that far away from home. I left for college, and just like that...
No ones clothes to steal.
No loud music to listen to.
Nobody to blame for chores not getting done.
No one to argue with.
No one to get clothing advice from.
Suddenly I enjoyed talking to her, whether it was through texts, FaceTime. or a quick phone call; I could handle her for a few days at a time. We no longer had the same relationship that we did in high school, and all those people that said as your get older your sister becomes your best friends were suddenly right.
I am not sure what changed things, I am not sure if it was the distance, or the fact that we both matured, but things did change for sure. She would call me for advice, she included me when it came time for her to go off to college, and she listened to my rants and rambling. She too went to college and listened to me enough to not make all the same mistakes as I did, and never failed to FaceTime me when it was time for a good story.
We have not lived together for over a year and a half, but you would never be able to tell that from our relationship; maybe that was the issue, we were too similar to live within the same four walls.
When you learn to be grateful for what you have,
When you learn to accept flaws,
When you learn what is important to fight about and what is okay to let go of,
When you learn to take responsibility for your own actions,
You can find a best friend in your sister.
When you find a best friend in your sister, you don't need much else.
Sheetal Tadiparty
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