I am going through the worst breakup I have ever gone through. This breakup is shattering me. I can't eat, everything that used to bring me joy just seems like a chore now. There are people around me trying to send me love but all I want to do is just crawl up in my bed and cry.

But all I want to do is crawl up in my bed and cry.

It is ironic that the last post on here from me was about my marvelous adventures. Those adventures I will hold dearly in my heart for the remainder of my life. It breaks my heart that the breakup had to happen, and I wish that it didn't need to.

I know this decision is the right one, but that doesn't make it easier. I am in pain. I go to bed every night exhausted from how hard just day-by-day life is right now. When I wake up, I forget for a second that we aren't together anymore, and when I remember, I feel like someone put a dagger right into my heart and turns it.

From my research, it is going to take a while for me to stop loving him, if that even happens. I am hopeful that one day I can breathe again. This is not my first rodeo when it comes to bad breakups, but this is definitely the hardest.

I try to listen to music, podcasts, call friends for advice, but literally nothing helps. Nothing.

Maybe I should pay attention to class now.

I'll be back next week.