When the girlfriend is out of town, most guys think that they suddenly have a newfound freedom that they haven't had since they were single; I on the other hand, I have been a wreck. My girlfriend, Hannah, went out of town to New York and was only gone for a few days, but they have been hard on me, partly because I miss her dearly, but also because I have kind of lost all motivation to do anything of real substance.

These last few days I have hung out with some of my friends and they stayed a couple of nights. We played a lot of games and I ate a lot of food that isn't good for me. This isn't out of the ordinary, but Hannah and I usually spend all of our free time together, and we avoid fast food like the plague. So it was strange to relive my old eating habits. Since she and I have been dating I spend substantially less time gaming, at least not like I used to. No more staying up until three or four in the morning playing League of Legends, it was staying up until three or four Skyping her instead.

So to go back to my old habits felt strange to me. It was a surreal experience, because I had trouble playing the games. My reflexes were slower, I felt like I was playing for the first time; after I got the hang of it, it was like I'd never stopped. However, the entire time, I felt strange. It was weird not to be either seeing her in person or on Skype. It is a strange thing to go from being basically conjoined at the hip to being ripped apart. Before anyone thinks that I'm "whipped" or that she is "clingy," we still make time for ourselves or we make plans and do other things, but that's the thing. We make plans and we know what we are going to be doing. Sure I knew she was going to New York for a few days, but I wasn't actually prepared for it.

I wasn't prepared to be all sorts of lazy, because for the most part she is my biggest motivator: she is a morning person, and it shows in her bubbly personality, especially in the mornings. I sleep in until ten or eleven now, and I feel bad, because my mornings are gone; I stay up too late and my beloved sleep is gone. Since she has been away, we haven't really talked all that much which is fine, but it feels strange.

Both of us are quite sarcastic. We know this and it's one of our finer qualities, something we can easily convey over text to each other because we literally know each other better than we know ourselves. However we were texting and she made a sarcastic joke, and for whatever reason thought she was serious. I had forgotten how sarcastic we are. I have no idea how or why, but it happened.

She has described to me a similar feeling whenever I go on trips and I come back, but whenever I go on trips, I always have things to do, albeit with family, or other events going on. So for the most part I'm distracted and I don't really notice my feelings, unless I sit down and am completely alone with my thoughts.

When their significant other leaves town, most guys think it means they are free from some imagined shackles of being "tied down." I miss her immensely, I miss being "tied down." When she's here, I hang out with my friends and play games often enough; I can also tell her whenever I don't want to hang out. That never happens, because lets face it, without her I really don't have anything to do.