I learned this past summer that my childhood friend would be my roommate for my freshman year of college. I was both elated and relieved. I felt a large burden lift from my shoulders, as I knew that I would be diving into a new environment with an old friend.
College is initially a tough time for most yet I came into school confident and comfortable because I knew that I had someone to depend on during this huge transition period. I did not have to worry about a random roommate who could be too loud, too talkative, or too clingy. We were blessed to skip the awkward step of getting to know each other. Instead, I looked forward to the laughter, fun and late night deep talks. We would never have to say bye to each other because we would always see each other at the end of the day.
When school started, we did everything together. Every meal, every event and every study session she was by my side. We even made the same friends. Everyone we met associated us as the two friends who were always together. There was no doubt that wherever she was, I was there too. Our friends would even get us mixed up because we were always seen as a pair.
Though we were already close friends, I learned about all the little quirks and habits she possessed and was pleasantly surprised to discover that she was weirder than I thought. As the semester went on, we became so comfortable being around each other, it became almost dangerous.
Suddenly, the little quirks and habits were amplified and twisted our perceptions of each other. We began to get annoyed at each other. Because we saw each other so often, I would forget that she was my friend and not my sibling, which resulted in unfiltered words and actions.
Constantly being together would only make me feel compared to her. Jealousy resulted from feelings of inferiority. My weaknesses were her strengths and I constantly felt like I was competing against her. The pain and hurt inflicted became unintentional yet we didn’t do anything to stop it.
We didn’t fight, but there was a silent tension that kept us from going back to our natural dynamic. We were aware of the issue present yet we didn’t want to confront each other about it. In my mind, it appeared that the longer I stayed silent, time would heal and we would move on. However, the thought was ideal only in my head and could not be translated into reality.
I cared about our friendship. It wasn’t worth the stress to let the little things break something so strong. We eventually solved our conflicts through confrontation and we slowly eased back into the swing of things. The strain was released and being around each other was once again organic rather than forced. It became apparent that procrastinating with confrontation thickens the tension and only makes matters worse.
My roommate and I emerged from the rough patches with a deeper and even stronger friendship than I could have ever imagined. I realized how wrong my mentality was. I tricked myself into thinking that my roommate was my competitor when in reality she’s my biggest cheerleader. Through it all, I always have someone to share a joke with, tear up from laughter with and pull pranks on. With this same person I can laugh with, I can also cry with, rant to and eat midnight snacks with.
At our points of weakness, we understood each other’s character the most. Through being vulnerable and honest with one another, we developed such a strong and unique bond of friendship that I could never experience with anyone else. The amount of history embedded within our relationship only heightens my appreciation for her and I couldn’t be any more blessed to experience my freshman year of college with her.
