I've always been the mom of the group. The friend everyone said would settle down and have kids first. But it never happens like that. The first to have kids is usually the friend that is the opposite.
For over 21 years, my best friend and I have done everything together. We reached well-anticipated milestones side by side. This was the first time in our entire lives that someone's life would be dramatically different from the others. In just 40 weeks, the dynamic of our friendship changed and I began to feel emotions about a situation I had never experienced before.
Shock.
When she found out she was pregnant, it was a total shock. Her telling me the news seems blurry. In just a few moments, her whole life changed, as well as our friendship. Two seconds ago, we were babies in tutus going to our first ballet class and now she's having a baby! How does this happen? Well, I know how it happens. For those next 40 weeks, I watched new people come into her life. I never once felt replaced, I just began to understand things would never be the exact same as before. She got married soon after finding out about the pregnancy to a wonderful man that God made just for her and they had their beautiful daughter, Adalynn, in November. Reflecting on the past year, it's still shocking how much has changed.
Excitement.
Once the shock wore off, my next thought was cute names, outfit shopping and nursery decorating. We no longer shopped for ourselves, but for baby. An area of every store we never use to ventured in, but now found extremely exciting to explore. This baby was something special in our lives. For a while, I stopped worrying about the future for my best friend and her little family and focused on the here and now. It was so exciting to go to doctor's appointments and have people in public ask about the baby. It was like a medal of honor strapped right to her stomach, and I got the luxury of being there when people showed genuine happiness for her.
Jealous.
I was a little jealous, not going to lie. This one is the hardest to grasp. It's not the fact that she has something I want in life; I was over-the-moon happy for her and her husband. But for years, it was me and her. Then you added her significant other. But then you add a child. Now time with my best friend was shared. Time with my best friend decreased tremendously. Sometimes, when you really want to see someone you love, you feel jealous when they can't give you the time they once could. I do not resent her for being the wonderful mother and wife she is, I just get a jealous feeling from time-to-time when things can't be the way they used to be.
Love.
I've never been a believer in love at first sight until I saw her wrapped in blankets, lying in the arms of my best friend. The best type of love you can feel. This moment was more emotional than when she said yes to the wedding dress. Even though my life changed completely, it was one of the greatest changes that could happen to me at 21, aside from embarking on my own life adventures.
My mom always said, "A baby is one of two things: either life's greatest blessing or a curse."
Adalynn was the greatest blessing on this earth. Not only did she make my best friend a mother, but she made me a godmother. They picked me to help look after their child and help raise her in the eyes of the Lord. It is hard when your best friend has a family well before you plan on having yours, and there are many emotions experienced in private because you don't want to look petty and selfish. Because they chose to make me a special part of their family's life, not just as a best friend, but as a crucial component of Adalynn's life, I am forever blessed.
