William Shakespeare wrote in his tragic play "Othello," "O, beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-ey'd monster, which doth mock the meat it feeds on." Shakespeare describes the emotion of jealousy as a wicked monster that makes fun of its victims-- by far the truest description of the emotion in all of the literature. It is jealousy that prompts the characters of the play towards a slippery slope of disaster.
I suffer from jealousy. There is a green-eyed monster that lives in my head and heart that torments me from time to time. I imagine her as a Tinkerbell-esque pixie that lounges in the back of my head. When good things happen to other people that I wish would happen to me, she whispers nasty things in my ear.
"You should have gotten as a good of a grade as he did."
"Why don't you have a boyfriend? No man will ever love you."
"You'll never be as pretty or popular as her."
"You're not as talented as they are - you're never going to make it."
"Why doesn't anyone ever ask you to hang out? No one cares about you."
In our society, being jealous of others is normal; in fact, it is even encouraged. Social media is a huge component; it is so easy to feel jealous when scrolling through my Instagram feed or a friend's Snapchat story. I see pictures of celebrities with #squadgoals and #lifegoals as the caption, and my throat starts to close up. I see the flowers a friend's boyfriend sent her or group pictures of a party I wasn't invited to. My breathing gets tense and my heart starts to pound. Then the little demon wakes up and reminds me of all my insecurities and impossible desires.
What can someone possibly do to overcome one of the ugliest emotions a person can experience?
For me, acknowledging the problem is key. Identifying why I feel jealous of someone is crucial--is it because I didn't do well on a test or project and someone got a better grade? Am I jealous of a friend because she has a wonderful partner and I'm single? Did someone beat me for a job or internship simply because they were more qualified?
When I get to the root of the problem and understand why I am jealous of someone, the green-eyed monster shuts up and leaves me alone.
I've let jealousy eat away at my heart. I've let friendships slip away because I was envious of someone else's accomplishments. Jealousy has destroyed romantic relationships because I wanted someone to pay attention to me and only me.
I'm glad to say that through self-discipline and a lot of practice, the green-eyed monster is slowly shrinking. When I get jealous, I count my blessings--my sense of humor, my good grades, etc. I feel better about myself and other people in general. I swallow my pride and try to feel happy for others instead of envious. Knowing how to control the green-eyed monster has helped me become a happier person and live positively.
