One of the most indispensable qualities to have is being personable and social. Knowing a lot of people and having a broad network of connections will get you far in life. With many jobs in today’s workforce, it’s not what you know but who you know. For some people, being outgoing comes naturally; others are more soft-spoken.

For a majority of my life, I was mistreated and bullied, to say the least. I was always forced to hide in a shell even though I felt like I was meant to be social. It’s hard to make friends when everyone puts you in your place in the grade school hierarchy. When high school rolled around I felt like I was able to come out of my shell a bit more and started shining through my beaten skin and became more transparent. My hopes going in to college were high and I was ready to have a social life.

The first few years of college I did okay. I made some friends, not a whole lot, but enough to have a decent social life. I am now a senior in college and feel like I have fallen back into my non-social lifestyle.

With this year being my last, I felt as if I had to rely on being my own best friend. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but I do miss having free time to go out like I used to. But when I really think about why I have no free time, I understand that I did this to myself. I took advantage of every leadership opportunity to get ahead and put more high-quality experiences on my resume. I became extremely involved with the journalism department on campus and now I am overloaded with so many things on my plate. I am enrolled in 16 units of upper division journalism and English classes, anchoring and writing morning newscasts at KCSN radio, am actively involved in reporting, writing, producing and filming for the news station on campus, am the Opinions Copy Editor for The Sundial newspaper, am the Editor-in-Chief for my college’s branch of Odyssey, am the Editorial Assistant at the Marketing Department on campus, and practice Crossfit and pole dancing six days a week. On top of all that, I have to find time to actually do my homework and find my way around Los Angeles to get footage for projects (oh yeah, I forgot to mention I don’t have a car). To say the least, my life is entirely revolved around school and work.

The free time I manage to squeeze in, I save for sleeping. I wake up at 3 a.m. and get home around 9 p.m. I have no time for friends. This semester, especially, is when that really hit hard. I started to drift away from the friends I have made thus far because I simply don’t have time for them.

But the one thing I realized this semester is the things I used to enjoy doing, aren’t as fun anymore. I used to love going out to parties, bars, clubs, etc. Now, I realize I don’t really care for these things anymore.

My friend took me to some fraternity parties and being surrounded in clouds of marijuana while I watched people stumble and act belligerently drunk, falling all over the place and throwing themselves over each other no longer seemed appealing to me. I thought, “ is THAT what I looked like a couple years ago? I was THAT drunk chick falling all over the place… oh god.”

At times, I will sit in my room reading and working on homework on a Friday or Saturday night while everyone I know is going to a party. I start to feel sad because while everyone else has the time to go out and let loose on the weekend, here I am doing homework as usual.

But then I realize I really am not missing anything anyways. All college parties are the same. And I feel like I have become so isolated from the college culture of being social that when I go out, I act awkward anyways and don’t really know what to say to these people when everyone else is drunk or high except me. Sometimes I make exceptions to go out, just so I can leave the vicinity of my room but I end up staying pretty sober anyways because I usually have to wake up early the next morning for some other project I am working on. Even at that, I realize I am getting so much more done if I am left alone to finish projects, build my resume, read, write, sing, dance, etc.

I have become addicted to getting ahead, working hard and keeping my head on straight. I feel like 10 years from now, I will look back and be thankful that I spent a majority of my weekends working hard rather than killing brain cells at a party with people who don’t care about my well-being anyway. I will be grateful that I spent every day of my weekend being productive and efficient instead of partying Friday and Saturday then being too hungover to do anything Sunday.

My old coworker got me to leave my house once and in the car ride to the party he took me to he said, “ You need to go out more. This is your last year in college. This is really your last chance to have fun because once you graduate it isn’t going to be the same. You should live it up and get your head out of the books because your life isn’t going to be as fun once college ends.”

When he said this, I was a little offended. I knew his intentions were good and he was simply trying to show me a good time, but my philosophy greatly differs from his.

The thing is, I am having fun. Sure, there are times where I wish I had more free time to hang out, but I am not miserable. I work hard because I want to, because I feel better about myself when I am accomplishing my goals and striving for a better future than trying to be friends with people who are only temporary. My choice to work hard and overload myself is entirely voluntary. If I really wanted to go out and party, I could cut out half the things I am currently involved in. But I don’t want to. Being constantly involved with projects and keeping busy is what works best for my personality and lifestyle. My co-worker’s definition of having fun is different than my definition.

Going out to parties every weekend was enjoyable my first couple years of college when I was still completing my general education courses. But now that I am one semester away from stepping into the work force and competing with prestigious individuals, partying is not a priority. While everyone else is out “having fun,” I am working towards getting the job I want. I am actively placing myself in front of my competition because my work ethic is far greater than theirs.

Nothing gets accomplished if I simply go out every weekend and get drunk and high. There are times for that, but staying sober and productive is more important to me. The real fun begins when I get the job I want, am earning a decent living and can afford to do the things I want on my own, as an adult.

College is a time to have fun, but it is also a time to get ahead. Partying isn’t for everyone (especially me, because I have so many fitness goals that are hindered by the consumption of alcohol) and not everyone feels comfortable going to them (parties attract a certain type of people, most of which I don’t have too much in common with).

To wrap this up on an enjoyable and relatable note, the song “Here” by Alessia Cara perfectly embodies my perspective of the fact that partying isn’t everything. (Even if you don’t agree with my perspective, her voice is beautiful, the song is well written and you should definitely watch.)