It's not everyday that you lose someone you thought was going to be your best friend for the rest of your life. It's not everyday that you lose them because you realize, they are headed down a path of self destruction. A path that only ends in pain. That is when you realize that you never really knew this person. This person is not who they have claimed to be for the past year. That past person, is now just a distant memory.
It takes a lot to realize how much some has impacted your life until you go days without speaking and when you do speak, everything they say bothers you. It bothers you because what they are saying is so far out of character that you cannot even recognize the person saying those things. I'm not one to go against change. I think change is a wonderful and necessary part of life. But when you notice that you're "best" friend has changed beyond recognition, it may be time to let go.
And letting go is the hardest thing you will do. It will be so hard to say goodbye to someone who has shared in so many things in your life. From their first experiences with love to their first heartache. From every smile to every laugh on both sides. They know your secrets and they know that you desire certain things. They can see everything that you've ever wanted. They believe in you. You thought you knew who they were. You thought you knew what they wanted in life. You thought you knew them inside and out. But it was only a thought.
People change and that is okay. Sometimes they change for the better, but sometimes, more often than not, they change for the worst. They become a person who is only interested in self destruction. They party all the time. They fall behind in classes. They get in trouble with school and with their peers because, at the end of the day, the people that they are calling "friends" are really not their friends. They are some of the most horrible influences on them. They twist their words and make themselves seem like they are real and sincere, but they are not. They are just empty words with empty promises that lead to the path of self destruction. They are not really the people who care about you. They just know how to party, and when you chase after them, people can tell you are just blindly following. You look like a lost puppy just trying to fit in with everyone else. You are trying to live a life style that you were never supposed to live. And everyone around you, can see how fake you are being. You are not being true to yourself. You are not being the person you wanted to be.
In the process of "finding" your new "friends," you've managed to lose some of the most important friends you have. You are losing the people who know you. Who truly love and care about you. And it's not because we feel like you've replaced us, it's because we no longer know you. We no longer can look at you and say you are our friend. You don't tell us anything for weeks, you don't say hi to us in the hallway. You don't acknowledge us, unless it is for your gain. Change can be a good thing, but in your case, change destroyed friendships, and change is making you into someone you never really wanted to be. So think twice about your actions. Think twice about going to that party or drinking that much. Think twice about underage drinking with your new "friends," because in a few months these new "friends" will just be using you even more. Because in a few months, you will be 21. It won't be just a slap on the wrist next time you get caught. You will be responsible because of your age. Think twice about the changes you are making, and the true friends that you are losing. Think twice before you ruin your life, and end up being someone you never wanted to be.
