Ending a relationship is hard to do. You may never know what happened, or you may be able to pinpoint the exact moment. But you knew it was over. Because that spark, that connection you two had, was finally snuffed out. Maybe there is animosity between you two because of the situation that drove you apart, or perhaps it was silent distance that made the relationship cold. But now that you have walked away and they are gone, you are left here thinking what could have been done differently.
No, I am not talking about breaking up with somebody. I am talking about ending a friendship.
I have lost a handful of friends over the years, and I will admit that I still miss most of them. I miss the inside jokes, the memories, the time spent together, and the things we learned about each other. No tension would come into that relationship; it was just pure fun and games. Your differences were your interests and your similarities were your glue. But with time those differences drew you apart, the deep conversations became petty arguments, and you lost your trust with them for one reason or another.
And now you may feel hurt and betrayed. Maybe the way you feel is that you wasted energy and time on that person you could have spent on yourself or with others. Or perhaps you are sad that you might forget who the person was and they will be an outline of a figure in your life when they used to be a center. It is in this moment that you realize how much that person meant to you—or didn't.
But how do you get over a friendship? It's not like a breakup where you feel sorry for yourself. It's a feeling of hollowness. This hollowness can be filled through other friendships, family, and introspection. One of the healthiest things that you can do after you lose a friendship is to remember both the good and bad things about the person. To turn the person into a villain is not a healthy way to move on, but idealizing them will make you see less of the truth about them. Being honest with yourself and the experiences will help you learn from the relationship.
Just remember that not every friendship will end. At the same time, not every one will last forever. We grow up in a society of best friends for life, and it is seen that the only way we lose those best friends are through distinct moments of betrayal. In reality, we all have a number of friends throughout our life, all at varying distances from us, and balancing our friends, perhaps even letting them go, is something we must all become accustomed to with maturity.
