I didn’t want to write this. I’ve sought for the words to explain what I and so many others are feeling, and I haven’t been able to find them. Your impact on this world is too great to go unwritten, but no one wants to address the loss of a close friend at a young age.

I wish that I could block out the day that I found out about what happened, but it’s forever ingrained in my mind so perfectly. Coincidentally, I was doing some career preparation for the career that you helped me choose, so I know that a piece of you will be with me when I start teaching.

I’ve lost three of my grandparents, and unfortunately, have known family friends who lost a child. But losing one of your closest childhood friends at a young age is totally different (not to take anything at all away from loosing family.) I’ve never grieved angrily or made myself physically sick from grief before this. Your passing was such a shock that I lost the ability to fully function for awhile. I still went to class and meetings and such, but my cognitive ability was quite limited. Suddenly, the assignments, tests, and events paled in comparison to the rest of life.

Instead of pondering physics concepts and leadership theory, I have focused a whole lot more on the wonderful qualities that you possessed. While you were academically driven, you made everyone feel special, and you were genuine about it. You believed in and motivated people, were dedicated to service, and had more patience than most anyone I know. (You taught me to French braid by letting me practice on you during track meets. I did not learn fast.) These are the qualities that I will strive to improve in my own life.

How do you say goodbye to the girl who taught you to French braid your hair, kept your secrets, and made everyone feel like a million bucks? To be honest, I don’t know. I still expect you to like my Instagram photos and chime in on a random Twitter thread. I never expected the gym where we played our first basketball games as little kids, giggled before track practice, took prom pictures, and celebrated graduations to be where I said, “see you later.” Sometimes I'm still waiting to wake up from this.

You loved taking pictures and making memories, both of which I am grateful for. I pray that the little memories of you never fade and that they inspire me to be more like you. You were such a bright example of everything that Christ is and now are such a beautiful angel. Thank you for showing me that life is wonderful and that we can and should make it sweeter for others.

Heaven sure gained a great one when God called you home.