When you’re as involved as I am, you get caught in the middle of different friend groups. For me there’s three main friend groups. All consist of the most wonderfully, supportive people that ever walked the earth. So here’s the situation: You love all groups equally and want to hang out with them all the time. The problem? There’s only one of you and you simply cannot be in three different places at once. The weekends are supposed to be fun and relaxing but you quickly come to realize how stressful it can get when it comes to deciding which squad you’re going to be chilling with. When you do pick, there’s a part of you that feels guilty and sad that you’re missing out with the other groups but happy and fulfilled with the decision you did make. It’s a vicious cycle and at times, you may feel trapped, left out, confused and overwhelmed all at the same time.
I can honestly say that I hate committing to one event with one group of friends and then have to turn down the rest. It makes me feel like a bad friend and nobody likes missing out on anything even if you’re doing something equally as fun. It’s a difficult choice that you have to make every weekend and it can get hard to balance time with each group while saving time for school and yourself. What I’m learning is that you can’t commit to more than one thing unless you know that you will be able to make time and can get there.
After talking to other people with a similar situation, I realized that I’m not alone and that there are other people that are going through the same dilemma. You’re going to feel left out at times but you have to think about what your friends that you said no to feel like. They’re probably wondering why you didn’t pick to hang out with them. They might stop asking and reaching out because you’ve said no in the past. It hurts. It stinks. But it makes sense. You just have to apologize and explain and hope that they’re understanding. More often than not, they will sympathize and forgive you. True friends always do.
What I’m figuring out is to not overthink or stress about picking. After all, what is so bad about having too many friends? You just have to learn to not blame yourself when you already made a commitment to one group and have to decline other invitations. Yes, you will feel left out but try not to let it get to your heads. There are probably people in your friend groups that have the same situation and you just don't know about it. They all love you and will always be there for when you can hang out.
