When You Forget What You Wanted & You Remember What You Deserved

To the Girl Who Lost Sight of What She Deserves,

It's OK to get lost sometimes. It's OK to lose sight of what you want, and it's OK to not know what you deserve. What's not OK is to stay where you are- hopeless, lost, and confused. Here's to CHANGES- may we make them, break them, and may we stick to some. All I hope for you as you dive into making these changes is that you forget what you want, and you remember what you deserve.

Remember you deserve someone who makes you, the most “you.” The truest, the happiest, and the most smiley version of yourself. You deserve someone who wants you for who you are. That means not hiding a version of yourself from them. That means they want you, whether it's the version of you who has mascara streaks down your face, or you when you're dancing around that lucky boy in the middle of the grocery store in your pajamas because you're PMSing, and your favorite Ben & Jerry's flavor is sitting in the freezer with your name on it. You deserve someone who laughs when you quadruple text, as opposed to referring to you as "clingy," and you deserve someone who lets you cry on his shoulder when your world is falling apart. However, he needs to also be a man who is going to be there to cheer you on when every piece of your little puzzle fits together perfectly. You need to realize that it's now the time to wake up, and no longer accept wasting any more of your time on anyone who isn't going to be unapologetically in love with every single version of yourself.

Remember that you deserve a man, not a boy. It's time to wake up and smell the flowers. The boy you've been waiting on a text from is stringing you along. He doesn't want the intellectual conversation you're dying to have. He doesn't want to talk about his feelings for you, and chances are, they don't even exist. It's time to address the real problem here, he's just not that into you-but don't get me wrong- he likes and definitely craves your attention. Does he deserve it? Hell no. But always remember- a man is one who is not conflicted with his feelings. A man knows what he wants and a man isn't going to wait around for it to come to him.

You deserve to be spoiled. It's important to remember that if you want fun & spontaneous, that you never settle for boring. If exciting dates and spontaneity is what you're craving, don't settle for anything other than that. I know it's so much easier said than done, but you need to remember that settling for someone who is content with giving you boring and typical, isn't giving you what you want. No matter how many times you think about it, and rethink about it, you two are never going to blossom into the relationship that would fulfill your deepest desires. Often times, we settle for what we're comfortable with. But now, you need to jump out of your comfort zone and remember that you deserve to be treated how you want to be treated.

It's the little things. We don't always have time for grand gestures. It's not about roses every time he messes up, or gifts to amend all disagreements. It's simply not necessary or logical. It's now time to realize that there's so much to appreciate about simplicity. Apologies, being showered in 'please forgive me' kisses, and seeing a little guilt on his face should get him off the hook. Now, I'm not saying these are cure-alls, but I am saying that it is indeed the little things that need to be appreciated every once in a while. Grand gestures are overrated, and little lovely things are definitely a big component in keeping a relationship healthy. Appreciate them, may he do them, and may you never overlook them.

It's the way you talk about him when he's not around. Does he put the pink in your cheeks when your family begs you to spill all your details about him? Or do you feel a cloud of worry, sadness, and frustration rush over you? It's time to look into these hints. It's all about the way you think, talk, and worry about him when he's not around you. Sure, things may be perfect when you're together, but what if it's hell when you're apart? You deserve someone who you can trust when you're not around him, and someone who when you talk about him, others can feel and see your love for him. Be with someone who makes you feel wholeheartedly comfortable, happy, and in love. You deserve someone who makes you smile even when you're not together. You need to let go of someone who makes you chronically addicted to refreshing his social media, always waiting- just waiting on an update on where he is, who he's with, and what he's doing.

It's about you too. Remember little old you. The you who was doing just fine before he came around. Do you remember the girl who got dressed up to look presentable-for no one but herself? Do you remember the girl who felt comfortable in her own skin, birthmarks unveiled, panty lines showing, braless, messy hair, done up or done down? Is she still in there- or did he change you? If he did, bring her back!! Unless, of course, it was for the better, unless you're madly in love with the “new you.” If he didn't change you, love him hard. He has a good heart for accepting your perfection and even your imperfections.

Let go, or hold on- the choice is yours. But make that choice for you, and only you. It's time to realize what you deserve, despite what your heart may be telling you feels right. You can do it, you're not lost, you're you, and you deserve someone who loves you for just that.

Love Always,

A Girl Who Found What She Wanted, & What She Deserved All Along