When You Fall For The Girl Who Is Afraid To Be Vulnerable

When You Fall For The Girl Who Is Afraid To Be Vulnerable

Even if our heart whispers "yes," that risk is terrifying.
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You've found yourself falling for a girl that makes you happy, who makes you laugh and you can't possibly find anything about her that is a flaw - if anything, her imperfections are what make her so likable. You have the best conversations that usually go on for hours - from passions, all the way back to your favorite movie in the world. You can practically talk about anything, and you make each other laugh. However, this girl is wrapped up in her own fears. She's good at hiding it, but you can tell that beneath the surface, she is terrified of letting anyone else close to her in a way that would make you the happiest alive. You've heard it in her voice when she's talked about her past. She won't admit it, but she is afraid to be vulnerable, to take those chances even though she very much wants to. Letting someone back in terrifies her. But you can try to understand:

First of all, please be patient.

You can't just expect her to snap out of something that has meant a lot to her. If you truly care about her, you will understand that some things take time, and she is taking time to understand herself, as she so desperately wants to take that leap of faith. Sometimes, people's emotions aren't just black and white, or logical. They can be an array of different colors, all blending into one another. It's beautiful, but it can get messy. She feels like she is wasting your time and that makes her feel terrible.

She has gone through things.


Even if it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, it's a big deal to her and going through this isn't easy. Her past is doing a good job coming back to haunt her present, and is trying to determine her future - even though, that is ultimately all in her power. However, it's simple to run away from things that were once familiar and comfortable, because people can be so easily afraid of getting hurt again. She's afraid of getting hurt again, so hiding is the safest route.

New love brings back old pain.

Those new feelings that she has towards you, are both exciting and terrifying. Feeling things for someone else is a reminder of what she used to feel with the person that broke her heart and basically destroyed her outlook on love and relationships.

Love isn't always equal.

Even though two people can love each other so much, there is always that part where someone is going to be the one who loves more - that person who puts in just a little bit extra than the other, the one who fights the most. Chances are, this girl was the one who fought a little bit harder than her ex significant other. She's afraid to put her heart on her sleeve because she's so used to trying harder and getting let down - and she's sick of it. She wants someone to also fight for her just as much.

She doesn't want to be like this forever

Believe it or not, she doesn't want to run away from falling in love. She feels trapped inside of herself, afraid she will end up alone just because her current feelings stemmed from her past cling so tightly to her, and are so strong. She so badly wants to shed those feelings of fear so she can move on with her life. She wants to fall in love. She is a romantic. She doesn't want to be this way, and she hates it.

I know that she shouldn't let this rule her, and she can't keep depending on the past as an excuse . . . but that's the thing - it's not an excuse, it's her reality. Shedding the past in order to become vulnerable again, isn't easy for some people who have been hurt multiple times. Other people can do it better, some, not so much. But that doesn't mean that they are not capable or are broken. Some of the most cooped up people who stash their hearts away, are some of the most romantic, and that's what is heart-breaking. Listen to her.

Cover Image Credit: favim

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The Key To Ending Your First Draft Blues

Or at least getting through the next chapter with your hair intact
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Ah, the first draft. We’ve all been there as writers. The day we decide to turn a blank word document into a 70,000 word (or more) masterpiece. Or, at least, that’s always the aim. Often as first-time writers, we go into the experience blind, learning as we go, and never really knowing whether what we’re doing is right or wrong.

It can be frustrating at times, as most first drafts are a test of sanity. As somebody who had written ten first draft books (nearing eleven) in six years, I have had my fair share of ups and downs when it comes to first drafts.

My first book ever took me four years just to write it, I started at the age of sixteen and finished by the time I was twenty. A year later I had written another. I then wrote one in thirty days, and nowadays I write about three to four books a year.

My point is, there is no science to writing. It is all about learning how to do it, and finding the methods that suit you best. I just wish I could have had someone to tell me all of that when I started.

With that in mind, here are my five pieces of advice on how to write your first draft:

#5 Embrace the Terribleness

The first draft is always the worst version of any story. The sooner you accept it, the easier it is to move forward with your work. So you misspell a few words so bad that even Word can't help you. That shouldn't stop you from going with the flow. Your dialogue will feel hammier than a "Star Wars" film, but you'll clean it up the second time around. You're not expected to create a masterpiece on the first go, so just enjoy the ride.

#4 Suffer for your Art

Writing can be hard. I've said it enough times already, but it's true. You have to be prepared to suffer for it. The reason my first book took four years to write was because I didn't commit to it. The reason I wrote 80,000 words in thirty days was because I committed myself to write at least 1,000 words a day. Now I average 3,000 daily. Is it painful to force 3,000 words to the page every day? Yes, but that's what you have to do to get the draft finished.

#3 Take your Time

Now I know this goes against what I just said, but it's important that you go at the pace you want to. I was happier writing 1,000 words a day, but I was eighteen then. At twenty-three, I'll never get everything done going at 1,000 words a day. Commit yourself to writing every day, even if its only 200 words. Writing is a marathon, not a sprint. You'll get to the finishing line quicker if you jog a steady pace rather than adopting a sprint and rest mentality.

#2 Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Yes, it's important to remember what colour your character's hair is, which one is taller, and what weapon they are carrying. Although with that said, it is important to keep going forward. In my editing, I go over everything with a fine comb, often with a character profile at my side. Don't get bogged down giving every little detail the first time around, you'll have time for that later. The hardest thing is getting it down the first time.

#1 Keep the Story Going at All Costs

This kind of goes without saying, but it is by far the most important step for me. You have to keep moving forward. It doesn't matter if you have to use the biggest Deus ex machina to get your plot going again, you can always edit it away in the re-draft. I use a technique called automatic writing, which means that I don't plan every detail of a chapter. I simply write it as I go. This allows me to give my characters natural reactions as events often come as a surprise to me too.

Obviously it is good to have a rough idea of what is meant to happen, but as long as you can get your characters from A to B, then you are half way there. The other half will be polishing it to the point you can see your reflection.

Good luck, and happy writing.

Cover Image Credit: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Writer%27s_Block_I.jpg

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4 Steps To Writing a Haiku

It's Fun I Promise
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You've probably had to write a haiku for English sometime in your school career. You most likely found it boring, or difficult, or just plain stupid. I am going to try and show you a more fun way to write a haiku.

1. The Basics: What You Should Know

In case you don't know, a haiku is a Japanese poem that is only three lines long. It is usually taught that the syllables in each line should go 5-7-5. But really, as long as there are 17 syllables or less in the three lines, it's a haiku.

2. Write to Get a Reaction

When you write a haiku, you are aiming to get one of three reactions: Aaaahhh, aha!, or ha ha! For example...

Aaahhh: Laying in bed/dog next to me under blanket/my furry heater

Aha!: Life is too short to love people/who do not deserve/your whole heart

Ha ha!: I'm on the toilet/and my stomach drops/the roll is empty

3. Create an Image

In your writing, you want to create a new image in your readers mind with each line. Take my first haiku for example. I first talk about laying in bed. Then, I say there is a dog next to me under the blanket, so you picture a lump under the covers. In my last line, I call him a furry heater so you imagine a heater covered in fur. The image you create is more important than the syllables.

4. Performing

Lastly, you need to think about performing your haiku. As always, when you're speaking in front of a room of people, you need to project so the whole room can hear you and you need to make eye contact. Another thing to remember is the tone of your voice while you are saying your poem. Dramatic pauses can keep people on the edge of their seat, waiting for what you're going to say next. You also have to remember to be confident! And if you're not confident, fake it till you make it!

Cover Image Credit: Imgur

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