Many of us have younger or older siblings, and the relationships we have with them are different and unique. The age gap between my and my little brother is 11 years and this got me thinking about the relationship I have with him versus my 17-year-old sister. So here is my list of things that happen when the age gap between you and your sib is 10 years or more (or close enough).
1. You are NOT the "built-in babysitter" you are "Mommy #2"
When my mom became pregnant with my little brother every. single. person that we encountered had to point out that I was the perfect age to start babysitting. Eh hem! I am not just a built in babysitter! More importantly, I am also big sister and mommy #2! Babysitters come and go but older brothers and sisters are always there! Then if you are old enough, you graduate from being a big sibling to mommy #2. This is due to the fact you treat them more like a child you need to raise than someone to fight with.
2. "You can't tell me what to do!" Yes, yes I can.
The trouble is, while you and everyone else knows you are mom second in command, the kid doesn’t. To them, you are still their sibling. So when you say "Hey, don’t say potty words, it isn’t nice" or "Go wash your hands" or "No, please don't do that." One will usually get a very standard sassy comeback. " No, you can’t tell me what to do." This is when Mom first in command enters the scene and breaks the news to the little person once again that you do, in fact, need to follow the orders of mom second in command. *Insert smug smile here*
3. Your parents have to lecture you on not overtaking their role as the parent.
This is what happens when you take being mom second in command (#2 see above) a little too far. At this point you start to develop your own parenting style that is apparently different from your parents and you step on their toes. After one too many lectures, you decide to leave the disciplinary actions and reprimanding to the lovely people who have done it before. You didn't turn out so bad, so clearly they know what they are doing.
4. The Public Sphere: No, this is not my child.
Going out in public with your little sib is always a good time. Especially when you have a striking resemblance to each other. The lingering stares and double takes never get old. Then add a boyfriend or girlfriend to the scenario and the stares kick up about ten notches. The judgment is radiating towards you and all you can think about is the fact that while you are 20 you look 16 and couldn’t possibly be the parent of the giant 8-year-old next to you. Come on people, do the math.
5. You feel more prepared to have your own tiny humans someday.
Key word here is "feel." Who really knows what they are doing when raising kids?
But, you have seen the days of Diaper Changing 101. You know that you have to shake up a bottle after putting it in the microwave. You know how to rock a baby to sleep, put them down in their crib and sneak out of the room without a sound. Your ninja skills are honed from snatching up your sib when he/she is about to fall into the corner of the coffee table. You know what to expect from the terrible twos and going from wishing they would finally talk to wishing they would just shut up for two seconds.
You have become well versed in the language of their past and current obsessions. You went to all the dance recitals and flag football games. Your lil' sib developed likes and dislikes and made sure you knew all of them. And when they reach an age when they no longer like your singing you remind them that you used to hold them in your arms and sing them to sleep.
Basically, you watched your sib go from this little alien looking jiggly thing to this walking, talking human with complex thoughts and emotions. And somehow you had the privilege of being there every step of the way.
Honestly, that is very freaking cool.
