You feel crazy don't you? Something is off, but to others around you, you give off this image. this image is one you've created to feel like you're okay and everything is fine, but in reality, deep down, you're hurting. No, this isn't something a trip to the local drugs store can fix, or maybe an extra hour or three of sleep to get it off your mind. You're hurting and you feel alone, but you can't put it to words what is going on. For those of you feeling this way, this message is for you.
You're NOT Crazy
It hits you from out of nowhere. You get this overwhelming feeling and then you begin to cry. If alone, you're confused, you ask yourself "what's wrong? what's causing this?" and if you're around anyone they ask the same to which you can only respond with an "I don't know." Weird right? I mean, you're crying your eyes out, there's an ache in your chest and you feel the hurt and yet, you can't explain what's going on.
Thing is, depression is one of the hardest mental illnesses to diagnose. The signs aren't always clear as day. Depression is defined as a mood disorder causing a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Of course if asked, you'd say "no I'm not depressed, I'm fine" and it's that repression that causes the involuntary feeling of loss and hurt and inevitably causes changes that you of course can't explain. You're okay, you're not crazy.
Find Something You Love
There are moments with depression where you feel like you don't want to do anything. That loss of interest is a sign that something is wrong. Knowing this will help you get through the day and deal. What you want to do is focus on something that you love. Whether it's painting, going to the gym, dancing, anything that allows you to get out of your head for just a few minutes is all you need. In the moment you feel like you just can't do anything, is where it is imperative that you do this. Thank me later.
You're stuck and don't know what to do. There's a tight feeling in your chest and you feel another attack coming. An overwhelming feeling where you are no longer in control of your body and again, you can't explain why. Take a few steps, wherever you are, and find a place outside. Where are you? What do you see? What's the weather like? Are you alone?
It seems insane, I know, but just do it. Trust me. The fresh air is exactly what you need in this time. Hard to explain the scientific meaning of this, but the fresh air and being aware of your surrounding helps ease the pain in your chest and lack of control and works almost as a temporary distraction. A calming mechanism you could say.
But I am breathing. Right. That's what you think. Of course you're breathing but pay attention to that part. Sometimes in the moment you're losing it and you're scared and you want the hurt to stop, you get overly excited and you're releasing more carbon dioxide and not taking in enough oxygen, so your body starts to feel numb. Focus on your breathing. Deep breaths in, Deep breaths out.
Battling depression sucks. Sometimes, you don't even know that you're depressed and because of this you don't know how to handle it. For those who don't, above are a few tricks that helps. Is this a fix? Absolutely not, but; it's a step in the right direction. Just know that everything will be okay and that you are not alone. Just because you can't fully explain what is wrong, doesn't mean that your pain isn't as bad as anything else. I know sometimes it feels like you're going through this alone, but know that if you ever need anything, I'm here.
Someone who understands
If you are experiencing a medical emergency, are in danger, or are feeling suicidal, call 911 immediately. Suicide Hotline: 800-784-2433. Immediate Medical Assistance: 911. Crisis Call Center: 800-273-8255 or text ANSWER to 839863 or visit this website.