The first recollection she had was when she was 12. He was an old man of around 70 years , who had been their next-door neighbor for quite a while. He would often stop by to play carrom board with her during the week-ends. She was alone at home that day when he came. After their usual game of carrom, he got ready to leave. He gave her a kiss on her cheeks like the usual; but this time he did not stop at that. He cupped her barely developed breasts with his old wrinkled hands and pinched her nipples hard as he told her how this was going to be their "little secret". She pushed him and ran away, unsure of what had just happened except that she was really scared. She did not have the courage to tell anyone of what had happened and fearfully prayed to God to make that old man go away from her life. From that day on, she would run away from the house every time he visited their house and would only return after he left. A year later, she heard that he had passed away...

She was returning to back home from her study session in a public transport. A man standing next to her on a crowded bus groped her genitals as he gave her a smile of contentment. She got down at the next stop, scared, even though her stop was still another twenty minutes away...

She had gone to a party with a friend whom she had known for a year. It was a party with some old coworkers. After a couple of shots, she felt that she had reached her tolerance limit and told her friend that she was going to leave. He stopped her, insisting that he would drop her home. He kept insisting on "one last drink" which ended up being a couple. When she could no longer take it, he finally walked her to his car promising that he would drop her to her house. Next morning, she woke up in his room with no clothes and no recollection of what had happened the previous night...

Most of her life, she tried to suppress those haunting memories so that she could regain the previous stability in her life. The more she tried to suppress, the more those experiences seemed to be haunting her present life. This soon changed to feeling of worthlessness and even disgust that she had no control over her own body. Why did she live everyday with guilt as everything was her fault? Why did she spend sleepless nights thinking if only she had done something, anything, which would have turned everything differently? Is it her fault for being kind to a supposedly "trustworthy" old neighbor who came to her house ? Is it for fault for taking a public transport which happened to be quite crowded? Is it her fault for going to a party with a "friend" and trusting him when he said he would take her back home safely?

Our society blames the victims for what goes wrong. It's easier to place a blame than to face the reality. How often do we hear things like she should wear "proper" clothes. She should not trust easily. She should not go out of the house alone. She should not go to parties. And god forbid, she should not drink. And in doing so, they forget the more important issue;all these reasons cannot be an excuse to physically assault someone. Nothing in the world can justify someone being inappropriately touched without any consent. Lack of consent means NO and when someone says no, you stop, no matter if it is a stranger, a sex-worker, your girlfriend or even your wife.

Truth is, she will never quite escape the emotional scars of her internal damage that she carries with her. But she can escape the guilt of something that was not her fault to begin with. And It begins with you not silencing her but rather holding her and helping her to lift herself up.