We've all been in one of those relationships where we have blinders on. We only focus on the good things about the relationship, not realizing all of the negative aspects, ignoring all of the red flags. Here are six things I learned when those blinders finally came off.

1. You can't will someone to love you.

He told me he loved me and that's what I relied on. Did he love me? Maybe, but not as much as I loved him. I always felt that just because I loved him, it had to work out. I thought my love could be the glue that would always hold us together. I was so wrong. Each person has to love equally for a relationship to work out.

2. Not everyone can handle how independent I am.

Rarely do I let people tell me what to do, unless it's my boss of course. Also, I tend not to care too much about what other people think of me. If I am happy, then it doesn't really matter what others think of me. People have told me I am intimidating on numerous occasions and I can only think that this is why. I think the same went for my past relationship…he couldn't handle that I didn't need him.

3. Not fighting in a relationship isn't necessarily a good thing.

My ex and I never fought. We never raised our voices. We agreed on most things. We went with the flow. I always thought, "We never fight! This means we are perfect for each other because we get along so well." Well, maybe we just didn't have anything to fight for. Sure, we both cared about each other, but we didn't care enough to express our true feelings. Instead, we were complacent and kept our true feelings to ourselves instead of arguing. Maybe arguing isn't too bad. At least it means you care enough to fight for what you want.

4. Communication. Communication. Communication.

Kind of similar to number 3, communication was lacking. I assumed our chemistry and our similar backgrounds would hold us together, along with my love. Boy, was I wrong. We rarely, maybe never, communicated our true feelings. He was too reserved, and I didn't want to push the boundaries, fearful that he would pull away. Instead, I thought my love for him would exceed all us.

5. I'm much stronger than I thought.

I mentally hit rock bottom after our breakup. I didn't think I had anywhere to turn because everything I did reminded me of him and his memory did not escape me for long. Even when I was sleeping my mind betrayed me and I would dream of him. Maybe that sounds creepy, but it's true and I'm all about honesty. When I fell, I thought I would never be the same again. And I'm not the same. I am stronger than before because I managed to come out of such deep sorrow and am happier now than I ever was. I don't worry if I am enough because I know someday I will be enough for someone. I know what I want and will not settle until I find that.

6. I deserve better than that.

I am not trying to be vain or conceited when I say this. I just know that I deserve something more than what I was given. Looking back, I gave 100% while he only gave 50% and that is not what is supposed to happen in a relationship. Each person should try their best to make the relationship work. I know there is someone out there for me and I am excited for the day that I meet him because I will be ready when that time comes.