For those of you who don't know me, I am not a "sorority" girl (though my family would readily disagree considering how much I talk about it). I typically don’t wear my letters around, I complain about going to events that aren’t parties nor required and I didn’t actively look to get as involved as all my friends did. I would even go through phases where I would reconsider even being in Greek life, where I felt like I didn’t even understand the point of it. Why are people paying so much money to be grouped together with a bunch of other people?

A week ago, I lost one of my sisters in my own pledge class. I can’t even begin to put into words the emotions I felt when I heard. Even now, a week later, I move in between shock, doubt and grief when I think about it. I still burst into tears in classes, thinking about the sweetest, most kind-hearted girl my campus had seen. From teaching me the correct position for a skull crusher to dragging me out when I didn’t want to go, she brought light to mine and everyone else’s lives. I still see her in the gym or in class, sometimes, her smile lighting up the room. Her death was truly tragic and affected everyone, especially us, her sorority sisters.

However, this past week has made me fall, for truly the first time, endlessly in love with my sorority. These girls have become my second home and my support system, knowing and sticking with me through my lowest and highest moments. Watching the way my pledge class and house came together and held each other up is unbelievable. I have never felt this loved and supported by a group of people in my entire life than I have in this moment, and I to them.

I have struggled with depression my entire life and never felt like I truly had people to turn to when things got difficult. Throughout high school, I would often feel incredibly alone. Since coming to college and joining Greek life, I have felt overwhelming acceptance despite everything I’ve done. Telling my pledge class about my past with depression was scary, but the way they accepted me and made me understand how normal I am, it still blows my mind.

My sorority is not just a group of beautiful girls who have fun all the time. We are a group of sisters who support, love, accept and push one another to be our best selves. It brings me to tears thinking about the love I receive from my sisters whenever I start feeling depressed. They are incredible, unique human beings who deserve the world and a half and, after everything, I don’t think I would be where I am today without them.

I miss my sister every day; I know she will never be replaced and I will never forget the impact she had on my life. But I also know that I, and everyone else in my sorority, can survive this because of how close and supportive we are.

Someone said, “You are only as good as the people you surround yourself with.”

I guess I must be pretty damn good.