Quitting can be one of the hardest and also one of the easiest things to do. Physically, it is usually the easiest option. Mentally and emotionally, it can often be the most difficult.
Quitting is often associated with defeat and being weak, but that isn't always the case. Sometimes, it is the healthiest and safest option. The stigma around quitting needs to change, especially for college students already running with a full plate. Quitting is okay, and students especially should be taught this.
My most memorable personal experience with quitting came right before moving away to college. In Minnesota, there is a race called DAMn, which stands for Day Across Minnesota. This year, a documentary crew went to the race to create an independent film about it, and I was supposed to be one of the featured riders.
The crew's plan was to follow the eight strongest and most unique riders throughout the day to capture their experience during the 240-mile race one day race. As the youngest rider, I was one of the eight featured riders. I spent weeks getting my bike set up perfect and dialing in my nutrition. My training was at its peak because I had just come off of racing at Nationals.
The race started at midnight, signaled by the launching of a firework. I started on the front row and never left that position. For 100 miles, I was the head of the race with two other riders. We had a large advantage over the rest of the riders in the race, and things looked good. The feelings were completely opposite.
My legs were as heavy as lead, and my mind was tricking me. There was a massive build up to this race, with months of preparation and phone calls, and I hated every pedal stroke. The two racers I was with tried their hardest to get me to keep going, but nothing would work. They offered food, support, and guidance, but none of those was the problem. I wanted so badly to quit even though I knew I could finish, and I finally made the decision at mile 100 to pull out.
I could've finished that race, but I didn't want to. I was there for the wrong reasons, and it was best for me to quit. It was heartbreaking, but if I would've forced myself to keep riding it would've broken me mentally. I love cycling, but if I'm doing it for the wrong reasons then it isn't worth it.
The pressure to do well was way too high, and I should've been focusing on the experience, not the result. While I was disappointing the people that had helped the race happen for me, it was the best thing for my mental health. Now I know that quitting that race allowed me to love the sport even more because I was able to look at why I truly do it; I'm not here for the results, I'm here for the experience.
