Why is it that the ones that are the closest to us can so easily hurt us?

You’re out with your group of friends on a Friday night having a good time and making jokes that include things about you, how you look and how you act.

But how much is really enough?

How many jokes does it take to get under your skin? How many punchlines do there have to be until you finally have the courage to say something and stand up for yourself? How many times does it take biting your tongue and just being happy that you have these people in your life that you call friends.

That’s the thing, they’re our friends, so they would never be intentionally trying to hurt us, but sometimes side comments and body language say more than words ever do.

Personally I have spent my entire life feeling isolated from people who truly have never accepted me entirely, and many of those people I have called my friends.

In the past I would work up the courage to tell my friends deep things about my life (like how I’m deathly afraid of camels) but for real, whenever I have exposed part of myself in the past I always end up losing a part of my friendship or the friend entirely, and I always can’t help but think since I’m the common denominator in all of these past encounters with other people that it must be my own fault.

That the way I am as a person, honest, humorous, sometimes too loud, spontaneous, is just too much for some people and many friends I’ve had in the past have tried to mold me into someone that I’m not, into someone more like them.

It hasn’t been until recently that I’ve discovered that I have to be my own friend first, and some quality alone time with myself the last several weeks has done more for me than years of friendships ever have before.

Working on myself, and loving myself has been more rewarding than any sports trophy or grade point average or scholarship I have received. I love being my own friend.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t take away the sting from what others, (whom you think to be considerably close to you) say about you or how they say it. The important thing is to remain strong, confident, and love yourself.