When Google Translate Doesn't Work For The Opposite Sex | The Odyssey Online
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When Google Translate Doesn't Work For The Opposite Sex

She's not actually "fine," she just said she is.

Peyton McDaniel
Jun 13, 2016
Lincoln Memorial University
45
When Google Translate Doesn't Work For The Opposite Sex
my photo

There's English and then there's girl English, which are two completely different things. Females and males have the astonishing ability to say the exact same thing and mean totally different things. My brother and I sat down to try and shed some light on what each sex might mean when they say some of these things. Here are a few translations for those of you that are struggling to decipher the last text you just got from the person you've been crushing on forever.

1. "K"

Female translation: This conversation is not over, nothing is okay, and you better ask me what's wrong. I've already prepared the list of your transgressions with an annotated bib.

Male translation: Okay.

2. "I'll be there at seven"

Female translation: I'll be presentable enough at seven to let you in the door, offer you a drink, and let you sit on the couch while I finish getting ready. Don't be a minute late.

Male translation: I'll be in your driveway at 6:45 rehearsing what I'm going to say when you open the door.

3. "I'll talk to you later"

Female translation: Say this to me and I will sit by my phone and wait for your next text or call from the minute you say it, but I will not send the first text.

Male translation: I'm trying to find the perfect algorithm of when to call you to land myself directly between clingy and uninterested.

4. "Let's take a picture"

Female translation: I already have the perfect caption to make my ex jealous and my best friend immediately call me, now I just need the picture.

Male translation: My friends will never believe this date actually happened if I don't have proof.

5. "Where do you want to go eat?"

Female translation: I secretly already know where I want to go, but I'm going to lead you to pick what I want while you think it was actually your idea. However, I will start the conversation with, "Oh I don't care, wherever you want to go."

Male translation: For the love of God, will you make one decision one time in your life?

6. "Sure, go out with your friends. Have a great time."

Female translation: You absolutely better stay here and watch "The Bachelorette" with me.

Male translation: You deserve a night out with your girls and I want to drink a beer and watch "Game 7."

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