When God Leaves You On Read
Start writing a post

When God Leaves You On Read

Is this what having faith looks like?

When God Leaves You On Read
Ben White

As a Christian in a highly secular world, I am constantly in culture shock. I experience little moments every day where I feel completely out of place. I sometimes feel unnerved and confused; sometimes left wondering and questioning my beliefs.

But don't worry, it's okay because I can pray about it. That's what everyone tells me anyway: "just pray about it." Are you struggling with something? Did something terrible happen to you? Do you want something, in particular, to happen for you? Pray about it.

So I do. I pray to God, hoping He can hear me while I'm driving around. But honestly, I'm not so sure anymore.

I try to listen, but I don't hear anything. I wait and wait, begging for God to speak to me. I read my Bible, searching for answers in His word. I speak with God's people, fellow believers, in hopes of God speaking through them. But in all cases, I come up empty.

So I try to see Him, but I don't see anything. I don't see any miraculous signs or 'coincidences-that-could-be-a-sign' anywhere, and I don't see anything changing. I desperately pray, yet I open my eyes every day to the same painful reality.

Just a bit longer I think. I lie awake and wait, but still, I don't feel anything. I don't feel better, happier, safer. I don't feel like things are going to be okay.

I give up, dejected, having failed yet another attempt at faithful perseverance.


No, it's not a voice; it's not a sign or a feeling. I've had this all wrong. I realize as I pray that I am looking for my answers, my understanding, my way. But I do not get to decide how God should be making me feel and I do not get to demand answers or understandable responses from Him.

I realize I have been asking for things that are beyond my control. That is the real problem. It is not that my God has left the building, leaving the world to burn. Or that He does not care enough about me to acknowledge me. It is because I am asking for what I have already been told I cannot have: control.

We don't get to control our lives, we don't get to have miracles granted with the snap of a finger, and we don't get to have cookie-cutter prayers with cookie-cutter answers. We only get to have faith.

Now that may not seem like enough to you, the idea of only getting to choose whether or not we will continue on, keep our faith, despite the utter lack of assurance, but it is seemingly all we get.

So, when your end arises and all else falls away, what will you be left with in your heart? What is worth holding on to in spite of your fear and the silence?

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series


Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?


Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less

14 Last Minute Valentine's Day Gifts Your S.O. Will Love

If they love you, they're not going to care if you didn't get them some expensive diamond necklace or Rolex watch; they just want you.


Let me preface this by saying I am not a bad girlfriend.

I am simply a forgetful one.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

10 Helpful Tips For College Students Taking Online Courses This Semester

Here are several ways to easily pass an online course.

Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels

With spring semester starting, many college students are looking to take courses for the semester. With the pandemic still ongoing, many students are likely looking for the option to take online courses.

Online courses at one time may have seemed like a last minute option for many students, but with the pandemic, they have become more necessary. Online courses can be very different from taking an on-campus course. You may be wondering what the best way to successfully complete an online course is. So, here are 10 helpful tips for any student who is planning on taking online courses this semester!

Keep Reading... Show less

Take A Look At The Extravagant Lane Woods Jewelry Collection For Valentine's Gift Ideas

So if you are currently looking to purchase jewelry for yourself or as a romantic gift for your S.O., you should definitely look at the marvelous and ornately designed Lane Woods Jewelry collection


Just like diamonds are a girl's best friend, so are pearls, rubies, gold, emeralds, and any type of luxurious jewelry you can get your hands on! A woman is incomplete without a piece of jewelry on her and it is a gorgeous accessory required for all occasions. So if you are currently looking to purchase jewelry for yourself or as a romantic gift for your S.O., you should definitely look at the marvelous and ornately designed Lane Woods Jewelry collection.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments