I'm sitting at home for a long weekend wondering...will things get better when I get back on campus?

The past few weeks my homesickness turned into full blown depression. I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, didn't go to my classes, I was wallowing in self-pity. Self-doubt and hatred came back into my life.

I don't know why either. I love my college. Campus is beautiful and my friends are great. There is no reason for me to feel this way. Yet here I am.

I am sitting at home now in beautiful Rochester Minnesota hoping that I can get my act together when I get back to school. I want to try harder and show up to class, but will my depression let me?

It is a constant fight. I have to decide every day if I am getting out of bed or not. Some days it's harder. Hopefully, it will get easier.

I have a lot to look forward to. My best friends are coming up to visit in a couple of weeks and after that, it is Thanksgiving break. I am also getting a cat!

So why now of all times is my depression holding me back from being happy? I mean really being happy. Not just happy for a few minutes one night...but consecutively happy.

I'm writing about my own struggles not for pity, but for awareness. I want others to know that they are not alone in this endless fight and they should never feel that way. I want to break the awful stigma that depression is a taboo subject. You should not have to sweep your problems under the rug. It is okay to fight back.

So here I am writing this just because there is a deadline to meet. This week I am not writing for the joy of writing. I am writing to prove a point.

I have been stuck in a black hole of depression, and I am still fighting. This time the fight was small. I got out of bed, I wrote an article. Tomorrow it could be bigger. We will see what each day brings.

The point is to keep fighting. Keep pushing. Just keep on keepin' on.