I'm not really sure how to start this letter because the subject at hand is sensitive for a lot of people. Depression and anxiety is not something to laugh about; it is not when an individual is trying to seek attention. Depression is a person's cry for HELP. It is a cry for help from the awful things that keep going through their minds.
If you are reading this and you have not been struggling from depression and anxiety, let me give you a little perspective on what it is like. I was once someone like you. I was someone who was always smiling, laughing and thinking that depression was something that would never happen to me. Until one day, I just became very sad. It was like a switch had turned on my sadness, and I had absolutely no control over it. I even started noticing the signs of depression that you have heard probably about: Fatigue, sadness, lack of appetite, and loss of interest in activities I had once loved. At first, I figured it was just stress building up from all of the school work I had, but then it was a few months later, and that sadness hadn't left. However, I was still convinced that it was just stress.
In late October of this year, I ran in my first half-marathon. Now I had been training for this half-marathon for months, and I mean, I was pretty excited for it. Or at least, that's what I tried to convince myself and everyone around me. And although I finished that half-marathon without stopping AND almost under 2 hours, I was still so upset. I wasn't even happy about running in a half-marathon, which is something I knew I should have been more excited about.
After a few more weeks of feeling down, I had realized that I was, in fact, depressed. With the support of my friends and family, I got the help I needed. After a few therapy sessions, I could already tell a difference in my well-being. I honestly never want to be in that dark place of depression again.
Depression is the darkest and lowest place I have been in my life. It's sort of a mixture of not wanting to do anything and not being physically able to do anything. You are so exhausted and then trying to overcome those bad thoughts in your head is a challenge in itself. On top of that, I was struggling in a class. And that only added to the stress I was feeling.
If you have ever seen the commercials for depression medications, they mention the usual side effects that I mentioned above. But the one thing they don't tell you is about the thoughts in your head that just won't go away. In my case, these thoughts kept telling me that nothing will go my way, and that my life is just going to be like this all the time. And I sure believed them. When my thoughts told me I would do bad on a test and I did, the fact was only confirmed. It's sort of like an endless circle that is very difficult to pull yourself out of.
Thankfully, with the help of an amazing psychologist, I learned how to turn these thoughts around, and create a more happy environment. If you are struggling with depression and anxiety, let me tell you that it gets so much better. I really promise you this. I was once in your place. I know what it feels like to feel like there is nothing you can do to escape those thoughts. I know how it feels to have those thoughts that no one around you cares for you.
But these things are far from true. If you just stop and take a look around, there are so many wonderful people who care for and love you. You are an amazing and beautiful individual, and you don't deserve to feel any of this pain. But don't, for one second feel sorry for yourself, because that is where your weakness lies. You need to stay strong. Always find a silver lining in every situation. If something goes wrong, take this as a challenge to overcome. And then overcome that challenge. Start doing those things you used to love. If they made you happy once, they can most certainly make you happy again.
The most important thing I can tell you though, is to take each day, hour, or minute as it comes. It takes a while to be completely happy again. I'm not even there yet. You will have amazing days and don't get me wrong, you still will have those God awful days. But that is life throwing another curveball your way. Just remember to stay positive, think happy thoughts, and believe in yourself.
You can do this.
