When is it OK to not speak to a family member? At what point are you allowed to cut them out of your life? Family is not supposed to make your life harder. They are supposed to encourage you and push you to better yourself. You should be able to run to them when the rest of the world leaves you bent and broken. So when a family member causes you a significant amount of pain, maybe it's time to let them go...
I'm not referring to the batty aunt that shows up to family functions drunk on wine and ruins the entire atmosphere. That's typical for most families, everyone has that one person. I'm talking about the mother, father, sister, brother or anyone in your family that makes you question your worth and shatters your world. If a relationship with this person causes you emotional distress, you're allowed to back away from the situation. I cannot tell you how many times a family member of mine has broken my heart. Someone I'm supposed to be able to trust with anything. Someone I'm supposed to be able to confide in. Someone that supposedly loves me, has left me more heartbroken than any boy ever has. Time after time, I forgive this person and trust them again. Eventually, loving them turned into constantly questioning when the next shoe would drop. What phone call will I get next? Perhaps I do take it too personally. After all, what they're dealing with is much more complicated than I will ever be able to comprehend, right? But eventually, the broken trust, the constant questioning of why you aren't good enough to make them want to turn their life around - it all becomes too much to bear. You begin to question your worth to this person.
Despite popular belief, you're allowed to put yourself first. When a relationship with anyone in your life is detrimental to your well-being, you have to let them go their own way. This doesn't necessarily mean that you must cut them out of your life forever, but try to put some space between the two of you. If you do this, the next shoe to drop will not shatter your entire world, leaving you to pick up the pieces on your own. While it may cause discord among other family members, you have to remember that, ultimately, this is what is best for you. You are in control. You are good enough. Your worth has absolutely nothing to do with their actions. All you can do is hope that one day they will see the fault in their ways. You must learn to love them from afar.
"You cannot save everyone, you can only love them." - Anais Nin
