1. Traditional Candy Corn
You're practical and confident. You like your people to be as up front as possible; if something is made up of nothing but straight sugar, just own up to it, am I right? This abrasiveness may make you an acquired taste to some, but at least you know exactly who you are. And confidence is key, considering your skin is orange, yellow, and white-striped.
2. Autumn-themed Candy Corn
You aim to please. If someone criticizes you, you wonder how you can make yourself better. You're too boring? It's fine, you'll take it as completely your own fault and will try to fix it yourself, whether that means dipping your butt in chocolate or transforming into a pumpkin, and you will still be the same as you've always been but for some reason you just aren't. But at least people like you better than Traditional Candy Corn, and that's all you care about.
3. Reese's PB Pumpkins
Oh, aren't you fun. You're like, super popular and everyone loves you, but you need your quick mind and ruthlessness to help you stay ahead of the game so you always come out on top. And your insides are made entirely of fake peanut butter.
4. Hershey's Spooky Kisses
How you dress yourself is a big priority for you. You know you're timeless no matter what you wear, but keeping up with those seasonal trends makes things interesting. Also, your body looks like a weird tear drop that got frozen mid-way through splashing on the ground.
5. Suckers
You are one of the most interesting people you know. With all the different sides of your personality, who would be bored with you? NO ONE, that's who. Some days are more Butterscotch or Mystery Flavor than others, but you know in your heart how awesome you are on your Raspberry and Green Apple moments. But remember, your head is a sphere of hardened syrup and your body is a synthetic paper stick.
6. Almond Joy
You're one of those old souls. And there's nothing wrong with that. You're loyal to those who are loyal to you, making you have the strongest friendships one can ask for. Who else will eat dinner with you at 5 pm and keep the music down for you so you can go to bed at 9? You are a bunch of almonds and coconut shreds dipped in chocolate and you taste okay but always a little weird.
7. Fruit-Flavored Tootsie Rolls
You like your time to yourself, and you tend to hibernate, but when you come out, you come out to PARTY and suddenly you are EVERYWHERE AT ONCE. You want to be the life of everyone's party, so you just make sure you're in everyone's faces when they least expect you. You have some awkward tension with your family, because they're just made out of stupid chocolate and you're FUN.
8. Raisins
You woke up like this. You're a little dry. Other than that, I'm not sure what you're about. Best to sit this one out, Raisins. He's just not that into you.
9. Nerds
You're loud, and snappy, and a little rough. You stick in people's teeth, which is kind of annoying. You take sick pleasure in bugging people, because you know they love you, no matter how much they don't want to. No one on this earth knows what you're made of. Seriously, what chemicals are involved in the making of you? You're literally the farthest thing from human food.
10. Snickers
You're pretty flawless. I mean, is there anything actually wrong with you? You're perfect. End the night with this one, people, they are keepers. And a cool party trick you have is that people transform into grumpy and/or loud celebrities until they eat you (it also serves as a great ice breaker at the office get-togethers).
I know you must be freaking out with how insanely accurate this article was. You felt like your mind and spirit were just invaded and decoded on every level. Some call it a gift. Some call it something.
Just remember, you are what you eat in copious amounts on the morning of November 1st.
