What is wrong with other girls?
That is a serious question, because for some reason, YA authors and content creators think it’s okay to create female characters whose entire personality is that they are individuals?
I’m get so exhausted reading things like “she wasn’t conventionally beautiful” or “she didn’t dress like other girls” or “she wasn’t catty or make-up obsessed like those other girls.” Why do these nerdy underdog characters, who often lament being put down for their looks or interests, think that it’s okay to put girls down for their looks and interests?
“If they got to know me they’d see I’m cool and interesting and unique!” our lanky, probably bespectacled protagonist cries. Well, maybe if you got to know the “basic” girls that you compare your “different” love interest to, you’d see that they are also unique and cool and interesting.
Apart from being plain annoying and overused, this trope can cause serious harm. It normalizes competition between girls which automatically makes me want to delete it from my brain. It’s a thinly veiled jab, saying that these female characters are better than those "other" female characters, without actually saying the word “better.”
Automatically thinking you’re superior to someone based on the fact that they’re a cheerleader and you paint creates harmful habits. Shaming a girl for her extracurricular activities is eerily similar to shaming her for her sexual habits or body type. “She slept with a bunch of guys and I haven’t so I’m better than her, and he should like me because of this” or “All those other girls have small waists but I have bigger boobs, so he should like me” stem from the same belief that girls need to constantly compare themselves, all with the end goal of getting boys (which is heteronormative and insulting).
And worst of all, this stereotype is present in YA entertainment. Movies, TV shows, books, magazines, everything that teenagers consume is saturated with this ideology. Young people are susceptible and vulnerable and don’t learn the toxic effects of certain media tropes until years later. Countless research studies show how low self-esteem is among teens, how early they start dieting, how much they worry about appearances.
It would be naive to think statements like “not like other girls” or “she’s just different” don’t foster deep animosity between girls. Everyone is unique, and character descriptions should celebrate the character as a person, not as a comparison to someone else.
I cannot stress enough how cool other girls are. They are smart, funny, creative, talented, beautiful and every other adjective in the dictionary because we’re talking about billions of people. We should strive to be similar other girls more than we should strive to be against them, and the end goal should never be “boys”. Instead of competing for male attention, we could spend our energy working together to create great things, or think of new ideas, or take advantage of two-for-the-price-of-one ice cream specials. Literally anything except boys. That being said, celebrating differences is great, but only if everyone can join in on the celebration.
