When I was about 22-years-old, my close group of girlfriends began reproducing children quicker than Lady Gaga produced bad fashion choices. I spent a significant amount of my 20s in the maternity ward. I became the supportive friend, the baby shower thrower, and the professional hospital visitor -- all titles I took on without hesitation.
The way society and media paint the friend without children in a negative limelight is something that has always irritated me. Why is it people believe we don't understand? Empathy existed prior to childbirth. We get that you are tired, we get that some days you feel like you can't do anything right. We just want to be there to make you feel better.
Yes, I can honestly say your friendships will change, that there is a significant gap between yourself and your friend once a child is born. However, there's no reason why this has to be seen as negative. You're both growing together but in separate directions.
Don't tell your friend she doesn't get it because she doesn't have kids. I understand kids make you tired, that working and taking care of kids destroys your energy, but so does working all week. Tired is tired -- if you are tired, we understand.
Don't feel like you can't invite us to kids parties, or kids events. Your children are a huge part of our lives. They are more important than you, we want to be there. We will sit through your stories and the crying because we love you and we love them more.
Don't be embarrassed if they tantrum in front of us; it is like free birth control. We don't mind because at the end of the day we love them and more importantly we get to give them back to you.
Don't think we're less mature because we don't have children, we just haven't found the perfect family yet. We're completely happy you have.
Know that we want to be there for everything, the first day of school, first steps, potty training, and eventually the wedding. Know that whatever you need, you can ask for. If you need a babysitter we will do it without hesitation because that's what family does for each other.
Understand we love that you're a mom, and we are proud of you for raising wonderful children. But also realize that, at times, we just want some time with our best friends and it doesn't mean that we don't understand. We do.
Know that when your children grow up and love us, it will be one of the best feelings in the world. Don't leave us out because we don't have kids. Avoid the media's perception that parents with children can not be friends with adults without kids, because we get it. We're proud of your journey and we want to be a part of it, kids and all. Because your our best friends and whatever is a part of your life is a huge part of ours.
