What Your Addiction Did To Me
Start writing a post

What Your Addiction Did To Me

I’m not the same person I used to be. In some ways I’m better, but mostly, I’m just broken.

What Your Addiction Did To Me

After more than 2 years and countless attempts to help you – I threw up my hands.

I never thought I’d walk away.
Although, you gave me a million reasons to.

I gave it my all.
I trusted you completely.
I gave you my best.
I know I wasn’t perfect but I tried.

You lied to me.
You disrespected me.
You betrayed me.
Your addiction tore through our life like a tornado and destroyed everything in its path.

Every dream I ever had I wasted on you.
Every amazing moment I’ve had over the last 5 years has been with you, and every heart wrenching and soul crushing memory has been because of you.
I didn’t want this for my life- for our daughter’s life.

This isn’t the life I imagined.
This isn’t what it was supposed to be.
You took that from us.

Every time I walked away I only wanted you to see what you’d lose.
I wanted that to be enough for you to change, but change can’t come from what you do or don’t have – it comes from within.

Truth is you don’t love yourself enough to do the right thing.
You don’t care enough about your own life to stop the destruction.

Now it’s over and there are a million new obstacles I’m facing.
Trying to explain to our 3-year-old why you and her brother aren’t around.
Having to make excuses for why you haven’t called or come to see her.
I get the full blown frustration of a hurting little girl, because I am the one that walked away.
I am a single mom.
I worry of the people that may try to come into my life because of what you did to me.
I can barely take a joke I used to laugh for hours over with a chuckle, because it's all too painful.

We don’t deserve to live as a broken family, but living in the shadow of your secrets and lies isn’t any way to live either.

You choosing to rely on your own defenses demolished us.
I know that I left, but you gave me no other choice.
I begged you to be honest- to just tell me the truth.
I tried to get you help, but you didn't want to do the work to change.

I’m not the same person I used to be.
Some ways I’m better, but mostly I’m just broken.

You made your addiction my problem when you pulled me into your world.

What you did to me left me feeling unworthy, unloved, disgraced,and like I was never enough.

You left me exposed, degraded, devalued, and dirty.
All for your pleasure.

I trust no one.
You ruined me.

While you walk around playing the victim.
Proclaiming a small truth about your problem but refusing to change.
I am going to try and rise above the pain and wounds you've inflicted.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

21 EDM Songs for a Non-EDM Listener

Ever wanted to check out EDM music, but didn't know where to start? Look no further! Start here.

21 EDM Songs for a Non-EDM Listener

If you have been following me for a long time, then you know I write about two main things: relateable articles and communication media based articles. Now, it is time for me to combine the two. For those of you that don't know, I am a radio DJ at IUP, and I DJ for a show called BPM (Beats Per Minute). It is an EDM, or electronic dance music, based show and I absolutely love it.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

100 Reasons to Choose Happiness

Happy Moments to Brighten Your Day!

A man with a white beard and mustache wearing a hat

As any other person on this planet, it sometimes can be hard to find the good in things. However, as I have always tried my hardest to find happiness in any and every moment and just generally always try to find the best in every situation, I have realized that your own happiness is much more important than people often think. Finding the good in any situation can help you to find happiness in some of the simplest and unexpected places.

Keep Reading...Show less

6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me

This one's for you, Spock.

6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me
Liz Abere

Owning a pet can get difficult and expensive. Sometimes, their vet bills cost hundreds of dollars just for one visit. On top of that, pets also need food, a wee wee pad for a dog, a litter box with litter for a cat, toys, and treats. Besides having to spend hundreds of dollars on them, they provide a great companion and are almost always there when you need to talk to someone. For the past six years, I have been the proud owner of my purebred Bengal cat named Spock. Although he's only seven years and four months old, he's taught me so much. Here's a few of the things that he has taught me.

Keep Reading...Show less

Kinder Self - Eyes

You're Your Own Best Friend

Kinder Self - Eyes

It's fun to see all of the selfies on social media, they are everywhere. I see pictures with pouty lips, duck lips and pucker lips. I see smokey eyes, huge fake lashes and nicely done nose jobs, boob jobs and butt lifts. Women working out in spandex, tiny tops and flip flops. I see tight abs and firm butts, manicured nails and toes, up dos and flowing hair. "Wow", I think to myself," I could apply tons of make-up, spend an hour on my hair, pose all day and not look like that. Maybe I need a longer stick!"

Keep Reading...Show less

Rap Songs With A Deeper Meaning

Rap is more than the F-bomb and a beat. Read what artists like Fetty, Schoolboy Q, Drake, and 2Pac can teach you.

Rap artist delivers performance on stage
Photo by Chase Fade on Unsplash

On the surface, rap songs may carry a surface perception of negativity. However, exploring their lyrics reveals profound hidden depth.Despite occasional profanity, it's crucial to look beyond it. Rap transcends mere wordplay; these 25 song lyrics impart valuable life lessons, offering insights that extend beyond the conventional perception of rap music.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments