Growing up you hear a lot of things. How can't you? You're learning how to be a human being with the help you get from your surroundings, and hearing is one of the most influential ways that we learn how to be a decent person. However, sometimes the things that we hear growing up aren't the best. There is a plethora of different interactions in a person's day that you might think that what you said didn't matter as much as you thought it did; But that hurtful comment or backhanded compliment may have really hurt someone you love. You might have thought that it didn't matter but it did.
We have all been hurt before. Be it by a parent, a friend, or a lover. And although you may have long forgotten this person some of the things they said could still make a special guest appearance in your mind. If your mom had said that you were bad at knitting, even though you were still learning, you think about it when you see some yarn and never bothered to pick up your needles again. Or maybe your friend said that you they couldn't be bothered by you when you really needed them, and now you find it hard to ask for help.
Although these things have different degrees of pain lingering in them it is pain nonetheless. What you say could make or break a sense of self. Your words have the power to either empower or destroy. So why choose to hurt someone's feelings over making them feel great?
It's easier said than done, but is it not the difficulty in making our loved ones, all of our loved ones, feel great about themselves an obstacle we should all be willing to cross? Your mother or your sister or your best friend try every day, so you must do the same. Put in the same effort.
It is easier to raise a happy child than it is to heal a broken adult. Your mother or father or step whatever may have hurt you in ways that you never want to disclose to anyone. And even if they never touched you their words did. I cannot begin to count off all of the broken people I have met in my life, but I hope that they know that they have friends. Good friends that will always be there for them.
Don't tell your child or your friend that they should ignore what is being said to them. Don't tell them that they should be the bigger person and dismiss the pain they feel from what was said to them. Instead listen to them, and acknowledge that what was said or what they heard was an awful and untrue thing. Reassurance is something that we all have to hear once in a while.
Brushing off your friends could sometimes mean life or death for them. Try to stay kind, even if you are busy. They need you as much as you need them. It's never your fault if things go awry but you could be there for them and help ease the pain a little. Talk to them, they want you to even if they say that they don't. Being hurt really bad by anyone could leave a person feeling as if they are not worthy of your time or that they are always bothering you, and although you know they aren't, they may not. Remind them that you love them, because they deserve to be and feel loved, everyone does.
