I'm sure you've seen all the back to school adverts on television, the signs leading toward the "Back to School" section at various retailers and all of the emails welcoming you in preparation for the upcoming school year.
But are all of the adviser sessions that help you pick out your schedule really going to best prepare you? Coming into my second year of university, I feel like I've gained sufficient knowledge towards what you really need when you go back to school. So, the following is what I've come up with:
1. Familiarize yourself with your local friendly black market. Here, you'll sell your more insignificant bodily organs for textbook money.
More relevant to university students rather than high school students (If you're in high school, go hug your Algebra II textbook right now, and BASK in its freeness). Let's be honest, you'll probably truly only use your Classical Greek and Roman mythology textbook once, but your professor absolutely INSISTS that you will need it, prompting you to rent it from Amazon Textbooks for almost more than half the price of the original book. And, when you're taking 16-19 credit hours per semester, the price of books adds up. Sure, you can work in the dining hall and make a little extra cash, but it's not easy to manage school and a part time job. So, as a solution, before school starts, find a local black market to sell an organ or two. That transaction will give you enough cash to cover books for at least two or three semesters! You only need one kidney to function anyways.
2. Try to take classes later in the day. You think you can take an early class, but you really can't.
Also more relevant to university students. (Quick shoutout to all the high school kids walking lifeless through the halls at 6 a.m. The only thing that could get me out of bed before 11 a.m. is knowing that certain McDonald's locations stop serving breakfast at 10 a.m.) Trust me on this; you think you can do an 8 a.m. or even a 9 a.m., but you probably won't even be able to manage to wake up for your 10 a.m.
3. Pens.
Who am I kidding, you're probably going to lose each and every single one during the first two weeks. Get OneNote on your laptop and use a stylus to take notes. If you don't have a touchscreen laptop, then take your roommate's and blame it on the kid down the hall who plays League all day in his room.
4. Tissues ... you will need lots of tissues, and maybe ice cream.
School is hard, and school is stressful. Whether it be filling out college applications or preparing for a final in a class that you probably should have tried harder in during the first two weeks so you don't have to depend on getting a 90 percent on your final to pass, we've all know the same pain. The kid sobbing in the library on their third cup of coffee staring blankly into their differential equations textbook will probably be you at some point.
So good luck to everyone in the upcoming year! Study hard no matter what education level you are. Be sure to get involved with clubs and extracurricular activities. And remember, always strive for any position that you want, no matter what it may be, even if it's absolutely clear that you have no qualifications for it. Isn't that right, Donald?
