When most college students look back at senior year or the summer before college, I think most would say that they wish they had better appreciated high school or hung out with friends more before leaving. But, not me; I worried about everything that my peers were so eager for.
As an only child, I was anxious to leave home. While, my parents are my best friends and I didn't want to be away from them, my friends were so excited to get away from their parents, excited for freedom and living under their own roof.
I was dreading living away from my parents after eighteen years. Did this mean I was all grown up? Was I going to change? Were my parents going to change? Were they going to be sad? Oh God, what if they liked me being away?
As I chronic worrier, 99% of the time I worry about things that never happen. I knew no matter how much I missed home or how hard it was to be alone, I knew that I would never let that get in the way of my college education.
I spent the months leading up to move in day both so eager and worried that I could hardly stand it. There were many late night conversations about college. I would crawl into my parents room, teary eyed for no other reason than that I was afraid of the future. These conversations lasted all summer and took place all over, from car rides to beach house porches.
These conversations helped me in so many ways. Currently, they are pretty humorous as I look back at all the things I was worried about. I spent my summer worrying, buying college advice books, and reading forums on College Confidential. But nothing could have prepared me more than just simply doing it, just going to college.
What I wish I had known?
I wish I would have known not to worry, or at least not to worry so much. The transition for me has been incredibly smooth and painless, and I don't think this side of the story is told enough.
I think the commonly held belief is that all high school seniors are like racehorses waiting at the gate, stomping their feet and waiting for the race to start; the race to run as far and fast away from home as possible. The truth is, not everyone feels that way about college. It isn't very cool to admit you're nervous about college and I don't think there is enough information out there for students about pre-college nerves.
What I wish for you to know, is that everyone's experience and transition is completely different. It is okay for college to be different from what you thought it would be. For me, it is a lot better than I expected and at the same time, it is exactly what I had in mind.
In conclusion, I am going to borrow a line from dad and our late night conversations... It is never as bad as you think it is.
