As I'm sitting here, two months away from graduating college, I can't help but look at the past four years and realize just how much my life and myself as a person has changed since leaving high school; not necessarily in either a good or bad way, but changed nonetheless. If I'm being honest, change is probably one of the only aspects of life that has remained consistent over the years.
When I visualize the person that I was in high school and compare her to the person I am now, I can't help but still feel small amounts of regret, but also large amounts of joy. If I could send a letter back in time addressed to my high school self, here is the advice it would offer:
1. Stop worrying about what other people think.
You know the saying, "Those that matter won't mind, and those who mind don't matter"? It might be cliche, but it's also extremely accurate. High school is nothing more than a bunch of teenagers all attempting to deal with the overwhelming amount of hormones that develop after puberty while beginning a journey of self-discovery. Everything that seems like a huge deal at this moment will mean nothing to you once you receive that diploma and walk out of those front doors for the last time.
To be honest, you're probably one of the weirdest people I know right now, but that's something that people love about you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and at the end of the day, the only approval you need is the one from the Man upstairs. Never be afraid to cut the negativity, no matter what form it may come in, out of your life. As long as you stay true to you, the ones that matter will never leave.
Lastly, dress how you want, do your hair how you like it, start a conversation with people you don't know, just be you.
2. Contrary to popular belief, the grades that you're getting freshman and sophomore year do in fact matter.
Basically what I'm saying here is that you might want to consider investing a little more time in your schoolwork, and just a little less on having random photo shoots with your friends. (Trust me, you'll thank me later when you see how much fewer student loans you have and how embarrassing those photos turned out)
P.S. take as many dual-enrollment courses as humanly possible in order to avoid sitting through and paying for the boring history and science classes for a second time when you get to college (you're really not all that skilled in those topics anyway if we're being honest).
3. BE SOCIAL AND GET INVOLVED.
If you could see yourself now you'd probably think you had a long-lost twin out there somewhere who was now acting as you. You're highly involved on campus and have an overwhelming amount of close friends because of it. You're sociable, outgoing, and sometimes even excessively outspoken (trust me, I was surprised too).
Start finding that part of yourself now! Join the club, try-out for the sport, take a class involving something completely new to you. Take risks. Get to know new people. You'd be shocked to find out just how efficient of a leader you are. Dive deeper into your passions and maybe even develop new ones. It's truly amazing to see what's out there when you let your guard down and try (even while living in a small town).
4. Start saving money.
As a fourth-year college student, I know this is a lot more challenging than it sounds. But trust me when I say you will love yourself later. In high school, it's hard to foresee exactly what college is going to be like and the adversities you will face during those years, however, one thing that I can assure you is that you are going to be punched in the gut by financial burdens continually throughout all four years; be prepared.
In hindsight, you probably didn't need to go out to lunch every day anyways....save some money and make your lazy butt a peanut butter sandwich. SMH, I can barely afford groceries because of you.
5. Find yourself before finding anyone else.
Probably the most crucial piece of advice I have for you is this; love yourself first. Find yourself first. Put yourself first.
This is the time for you to enjoy yourself, figure out what you like and dislike, and what you believe or don't believe. If you find someone in high school who seems like a player, a tool, an a**hole, please do yourself a favor and run the other way. Don't look back, don't even peek. If that's the type of person they're displaying themselves as, then that's exactly the type of person they are. Do everything you can to avoid getting caught up in the high school dating scene, or the thought process of not being good enough without someone who "loves" you. Love yourself now, find the other half later. I can promise you this will save you from years of emotional damage, anger, tears, and regrets.
Always remember you're worth more than anything he can offer you, and if he spits foul words at you in the hope of bringing you pain, just remind yourself that that's a reflection of him and his character, not of you or who you are.
You're a beautiful soul, don't ever forget it.
Stay weird,
Your future, wiser, self.
