Recently, I wrote an article about dating and hookup culture in the 21st century. Since then, I’ve continued to think a lot about relationships. (No surprise, I know). I’ve been thinking about individual roles within them. I’ve also been thinking about who I am in one and who I want to be in one with.
I think most people want to be their truest selves in a relationship. It makes sense, you want someone to love you for you, inside and out. I, like many other girls, am always worried about seeming “crazy.” The internet meme of the crazy girlfriend always flashes through my mind when I think I might be overreacting. Sometimes it feel like I'm asking my partner for the world on a sliver platter. When in reality I am not.
I took a deep look at what I believe are the baseline traits I want in a partner. I boiled it down, beyond a good sense of humor, nice eyes or anything of a small and specific nature. I realized that there are some expectations that I have that should not be a rarity when they are found. I should not fear that I will look crazy or overbearing for wanting these basic relationship standards. These are the four things that I want in a relationship, that I (and everyone else) should not have to ask for.
Commitment
Being faithful in all forms is the most obvious part of this expectation. Yet, it also includes committing only if and when you are ready to be in a relationship. Committing when we are both ready to give 110% to one another everyday. Committing so we do not waste each others time or hurt each other.
Respect
Respect covers a variety of expectations. It can be split into physical and emotional respect. Physical respect means we will not physically put our hands on one another in a harmful way. Ever. No exceptions. There is also emotional respect. This means, if we have different opinions on politics, religion or any other controversial topic we will agree to disagree. We can appreciate that we are different and have different intelligent opinions or interests even if we do not completely agree with the other persons.
Consideration
We will both be considerate of each others time. We both understand that in this crazy world you have to make time for each other. We will both appreciate the scarifies of time that we give to for one another. Then there is actually showing this understanding. It can be as simple as a how was your day text, or a call to wish you luck on your exam in an hour. When we are considerate of one another time and passions we are directly supporting one another.
Growth
This may seem intense but if we are going to be in a relationship, if I am investing so much time I expect it to be longterm or as long as we are happy with each other. As a college students, we are both continuously changing, learning and figuring out who we are and who we want to be. I will not be exactly the same person I am now, a month from now. I want you to not only to grow and push yourself to the best that you can be but also to push our relationship to do the same things.
I should never be made to felt that these basic expectations are asking for too much or being too selective. Maybe I am crazy because I walked to the gym in the rain. Or maybe because I cried at the commercial with he dog. Yet, I refuse to feel or be called crazy for demanding things that should already be there in each and every relationship.
