Times have changed, and the world is rapidly becoming more advanced. As this occurs, more humans are saying goodbye to hydrating via old school water fountains and are beginning to embrace a new world where humans carry water bottles every where they go. I have come to notice that there are certain personality traits associated with the different types of water bottles people are prone to carrying around.
Aluminum Water Bottles
These classic bottles are the first half to the “hipster twins” of water bottles. The people who use these are typically cultured, rustic, and creative. These proud bottle owners have likely to have just attended a super awesome activity or event, got the aluminum water bottle there, and now want everyone to know about it. Aluminum bottles support recycling and many other eco-friendly actions. Not many people truly use these bottles on an everyday basis, so those who do are pretty unique. Want to save the world and be a hipster? Go to your local arts fair or random abnormal event in your town, and you will find the right bottle for you.
Nalgene Water Bottles
Now you might be asking, “what’s the other half to the “hipster twins?" Let me tell you: it’s this guy. Those who carry these are passionate, open-minded, and imaginative. These traits are exhibited by the creative array of stickers covering each and every bottle that these bottle owners buy off redbubble.com. These bottles allow people to show the world who they are with stickers of their favorite TV shows (Friends), sports teams (usually something from college), artsy places they’ve been (probably Mt. Kilimanjaro), and even a sneak peek into their sense of humor (poop emojis). Additionally, Nalgene bottles are great for people who get dehydrated easily because of their ergonomic, wide-rim design. Once you remove the lid from a Nalgene, the wide opening of the bottle promises a quick and easy waterfall right down the hatch. Whether you’re at a Jewish summer camp or a middle school soccer game, you will surely see many Nalgene water bottles. If you’re lucky, you might even see some with a rare carabiner clip.
Camelbak Water Bottles
The Camelbak is a popular choice. These bottles have a fun spout (often called a nipple) connected to a straw that enables you to drink a great amount of water in one sip. Those who have these bottles can be considered nostalgic, reliable, and logical. Many people buy these bottles just for the “nipple,” showing that they may have stopped breastfeeding too early as a child and never really overcame that oral fixation phase. However, that’s okay, because people who use these are extremely reliable, seen in how dependable their beloved water bottle is. Another great plus to these bottles is the price--they’re completely reasonable, and available at your local sports shop, or even Target.
Camelbak Backpack
There is also the original Camelbak backpack. Like the water bottle version of this brand, there is a nipple attached to a straw--but that straw goes into a water sack in a backpack! These interesting water holders belong to people who are daring, independent, and friendly (and who think they’re camels). Generally, these owners are found being aggressively adventurous; craving a journey that allows them to carry a couple gallons of water on their back along with their sketchbook, pencils, and packages of assorted nuts for protein. People using these may seem a little crazy, but I can promise you, they are very kind. Camelbak Backpack users love helping others while on their various excursions by lending some of their heavy load of water to anyone in need.
Cheap Plastic Water Bottles
Everyone you know has one of these; the super junky, blindingly white plastic bottles with the uneven screw-on lid. All of the people in this world who own or have received one of these bottles are guilty of using it at some point, and generally it’s been in a time of desperation. But some people do frequently use and enjoy these, and those who do are the perfect combination of frugal and resourceful. The people you see carrying these bottles around can be viewed as “cheap” because they won’t buy a nicer water bottle for themselves and see them as an unnecessary luxury. Anything that holds water well is good enough, right? People who love these bottles use their resources wisely by utilizing what they already own / got for free at a family friend’s Bar Mitzvah.
Brita Water Bottles
These water bottles truly show how advanced our world is becoming through the built-in water filter in the body of the bottle. People who use these are very progressive, innovative, and focused. When you see a person carrying one, you typically think one of two things: either they are obsessed with the future and always need the latest and greatest technology, or they have an overprotective mother at home that distrusts any tap water fountain or sink in the outside world. Water bottles like these really are the future, and whenever you see them, know that the person carrying that water bottle is definitely drinking cleaner water than you are.
Fresh New Bottles of SmartWater or Fiji Every Day
The few people in the world that you see carrying one of these newly-bought and over-priced water bottle each day are blessed with enough money to do so, but also exhibit traits like optimism, punctuality, and organization. Every day, that person buys a fresh water bottle from a store (destroying at least seven trees that an innocent family of monkeys once called home) and starts their day with a clean slate--just like an optimist considers every day of their life a fresh new day. Likewise, these owners are always on time, because they don’t have to spend any time filling up their bottles. Finally, these people are extremely organized-- because, if you think about it, have you ever seen a SmartWater bottle on a messy desk?
Tervis Tumbler Water Bottles
The final water bottle I’ve chosen to examine is the one and only Tervis. These water holders have become very popular over the last decade, mainly because of they way they allow you to express yourself. I can promise you that the people with these bottles don’t just have one, but multiple Tervis tumblers, each with a different design or theme or monogram to it. You can associate owners of Tervises with characteristics like enthusiasm, balance, and social skills. Because of the wide range of designs found on these bottles, everyone from those in love with their hometown football team to tween girls obsessed with peace signs are able to show their interests on their water bottle. Even though you can’t be clumsy with these (they spill easily), the plastic bottle allows you to have your black coffee in the morning and your late afternoon Crystal Light packet in the same day with just a quick rinse!
At the end of the day, no matter what water bottle you use, the most important thing is that you stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water. Every water bottle makes a great addition to a camper’s care package, a Bat Mitzvah party favor, or even a cheap goodbye gift to an annoying neighbor who is moving across the country. Just be sure to evaluate what you need from your bottle, along with the type of person you want people to assume you are based on your water bottle’s stereotype. Remember, a water bottle says a lot about a guy or a gal, and I would hate for you to get made fun of if someone drew the wrong conclusions about you because of what you hold your water in. After all, take it from me. I’m the water bottle expert.
