For every girl out there who doesn't get along with their mom, I am with you. I understand, because my mom — she's something else! She is one of my biggest role models, even though sometimes I think she is one of my biggest enemies. She is the fire that keeps me going for two reasons. One, I want to make her proud of the daughter she raised two, I want to prove myself to her, for what reason I really don't know, but I do. Throughout my life I have never really seen a big resemblance between my mother and I. Nevertheless, this past Thanksgiving break I definitely saw the similarities. It may not be by the looks of us, but it is definitely by the way we act.
In high school, when I was a “typical” teenage girl, my mother and I did not have the best relationship. I know — just like all the other “normal” mother-daughter relationships out there. Except, ours was not typical. It was odd and exhausting trying to keep up with all the mood swings and hurt feelings, and even though I loved my mother, it was a struggle at times to like her. If someone would have told me that I acted like her, I would have argued with them for a good amount of time about how they were wrong and I was right. Back then I seriously would have had to go through the five stages of grief.
1. Denial
There is no possible way that I act like my mother. We’re total opposites. She’s mad, I’m happy. She’s dark, and I’m bright. She is hard rock, and I am country. No where in those statements were there any similarities. I'm not going to believe it, I won’t, I can’t!
2. Anger
What are you saying? My mother, are you insane? Seriously, that is the worst thing you could have said to me! That isn’t a compliment, it's a total and complete insult (which would have been me being overly dramatic)!
3. Bargaining
If only I were smarter or prettier, then it would offset my personality and make up for it. Give me time, I’m young! I can be better, I know I can change!
4. Depression
Wow, I really am like her. Is this why I’m single, because I act like a 45-year-old (yet again another very dramatic teenage thing of me to say)? Let me just eat my feelings and drown my sorrows in this carton of Ben and Jerry’s!
5. Acceptance
Okay, alright, so I act like my mom. That’s not such a bad thing. So what if we have the same tendencies and quirks, or if we get annoyed at the same things. I’ll be fine. What else is to be expected, she did raise me and all.
Now that I am in college I've had the chance to experience this epiphany which helped me realize how privileged and blessed I am to have my mom. The relationship I have with her has grown so much since leaving home and there’s a few possible explanations as to why. It could be that the distance has "made the heart grow fonder." It could be that she doesn’t want me to grow up, and she’s trying to keep me close to her. My bet is that it is because I am turning more and more into her! I am getting older and I now understand her motivations, her decision-making and her reasoning for acting the way she does at times. I am becoming more mature and we happen to get along better now than we have ever before. Yes my mom gets on my nerves, but I get on hers too. And yes we still fight but we know how to fix the problem quicker by communicating better.
So next time you get into an argument with your mom just remember that she is trying her best. Understand that she is doing what she thinks is best, and if it's not then she will recognize it when she looks back after the fact. As daughters we should keep in mind that mothers are learning too, sometimes just as much as we are. Except while we learn about the stupidity of boys, they are learning how to let go. We need to respect, accept and show the unconditional love our mothers have graciously tried to show us our entire lives!
I tell my mom everything and she has become one of my closest friends. How can I be mad? If I truly love who she is as much as I do then I shouldn't be upset finding out that I act just like her. My mom is one of the strongest, loving and most generous people I know. Back then I would have snarled and rolled my eyes at anyone who called me my mother’s “mini-me.” But now she is someone I aspire to be and I am so thankful that she's mine!
